Secret Keeper
by littlemewhatever93
Summary: 'I was a secret, a secret that literally had to be brushed under the floorboards and hope to never be found. '- Eventual OctaviaxLincoln pairing, with slight OctaviaxJasper and surprisingly also OctaviaxClarke. Sue me. Rated T for now, rating will eventually increase. AU, but mostly cannon until arrival to Earth. Liberties taken with timeline.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**The desire to write for this fandom came out of no where! I mean, how could I resist Octavia? A young girl, hidden away on the Ark for fifteen years, with no human interaction outside of her brother and mother? Such a malleable character! My only difficulty was trying to make sure Octavia and Bellamy didn't come off too Flowers in the Attic-ish. Hopefully I succeeded!**

**I know that this chapter is one long monstrosity, and it's a lot of information to take in. Give it a chance! Haha. The future chapters will be shorter and easier to read, I promise. Please review and let me know what you think. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The 100. All rights belong to CW and Kass Morgan, respectively. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

I am no stranger to secrets. Growing up as the girl who didn't officially exist tended to do that to you.

For the first fifteen years of my life, I had only known four walls, a small space under the floorboards, and the faces of my mother and my older brother, Bellamy. I had only known the florescent lights hanging above, the stale, artificial air in my lungs, and the steady hum of machinery under my feet.

The threat of being discovered had been a constant fear in my life. Room searches were something that happened often on the Ark, and with them came gut-wrenching anxiety. The Ark had very strict policies on reproducing; only one child to a family, no exceptions. Perhaps more radical, if a mother was found to be pregnant with twins, she would be forced to abort the fetuses and try again. If a baby was found to be deformed or otherwise ill in a way that would be too costly to care for outside of the womb, it would be aborted.

This had not been the case for my family, although there were often times when I wished I had never been born. While my mother had never been the most intelligent of sorts, she was particularly cunning in finding ways to improve her position. She never married, and often used her body as a form of payment in exchange for various items that she desired.

This practice was what had gotten her pregnant with Bellamy, first. It was not normal for a child to be born out of wedlock on the Ark; due to the strict rules in place for population control, most people saved their one child to have with their committed partner. This wasn't the case for my mother, however. She hungered for things that were always outside of her reach, and this led to her turning up pregnant again. With me.

I always wondered how she had managed to keep her pregnancy secret for nine months. Obviously, she had to stop meeting up with her Johns, as well as wear suspiciously baggy clothes. She must have hidden in her room for the majority of her pregnancy, and it was only sheer dumb luck that she didn't die in childbirth.

And so our family became unknown fugitives on the Ark. Bellamy and I had become something that nobody else had ever had the opportunity to be: brother and sister.

Not that that was all it was cracked up to be. I was a secret, a secret that literally had to be brushed under the floorboards and hope to never be found. My brother, however, was a known entity and had the freedom to go outside. He was able to attend classes, able to interact with the people out there, and see the universe we were surrounded with. Every time he spoke of a beautiful sunset or the majestic blue and green earth, I died with envy.

Bellamy was my ache and my balm. Sometimes I hated him, and other times I felt like he was the only reason I breathed. Sometimes he could be so frustrating, and he treated me like the secret I tried to pretend I wasn't. Other times, he went out of his way to bring me happiness. It was a constant game of push and pull with him.

* * *

One time, when I had been about eight years old, I had waited until my mother and my brother had fallen asleep before creeping out of my makeshift bed in the floor. I remember my that my heart had beaten wildly in my chest, and I had been trying so hard to be silent. I had known that if Bellamy or my mother woke up, I would have been in trouble, but all I had wanted to do was look out the door. I wanted to look out the one window in my cage, but as I had reached to do so, I heard my brother's voice behind me.

"What do you think you're doing, Octavia?" He had been calm, almost eerily so, and for some reason the feeling of dread that had washed over me had been worse than if he would have screamed.

"I just wanted to look outside," I had whispered, and I remember that my voice trembled on the last word. I had been frozen by the sound of his voice, my hand still reaching out in front of me, mere inches away from the metallic surface that had been so much more than a door.

"Octavia..." he had said beseechingly, and in that one moment I knew that he understood. As well as he could, anyway. He had known that what I wanted more than anything in this life was to go outside, experience the same things that he did. I wanted to play with other kids and go to class and be somebody.

But in the next moment, he had reminded me that I couldn't have that life. He had reminded me of the deadly little secret I was.

"If you open that door, mom will die. She'll get Floated. You'll be locked away in a holding cell. You'll be fed three meals a day. Maybe you'll get lucky and one of the guards will get sweet on you. You're young, but I can already tell you're going to be a pretty little thing," his voice had turned mockingly sweet, and I had felt a cold chill up my spine. I had sensed him moving behind me, and I had spun around just in time for him to force my back against the door and feel his hand clamp over my mouth.

As if I could have screamed. No, I had stood there, wide eyed and frozen, staring into my brother's cold eyes, silent as a ghost. There had been a darkness in the room, the only light being cast from the light blue energy strips on the wall. Bellamy's eyes had been black and bottomless, as if feeding off the absence of light and growing darker because of it.

"Yeah, those guards would sweeten right on up to you. You'd look at them with those innocent, big ol' baby blues and then they would _eat you right up_," he had continued on, and his voice had been a terrible mix between the brother I loved and this dangerous stranger that had stood before me. I had wanted him to stop. I had wanted to tell him that I understood. I wanted to tell him I would never do it again, but his hand had still covered my mouth. His eyes had still held me in a trance. His mouth had continued to tell me the poisonous truths that I had always been vaguely aware of, but had never really understood before that moment.

"They'll eat up your body, they'll desecrate your beauty, shred up your childhood, and then rip out your fucking soul, Octavia. They'll take and they'll take until you can't give anymore, and then they'll break you. Sure, you might get better treatment than some of the other prisoners. Maybe you'll get a nice guard that brings you pretty poetry and sneaks you in dessert. Maybe not," he said darkly, and by this point I had been shaking. Tremors had rocked my body almost constantly, and I had felt traitor tears rimming my eyes. I had watched as Bellamy's dark expression morphed into one of pain and sorrow before he continued, "But in the end it doesn't matter, because once your eighteenth birthday comes around, nobody is going to be able to save you. It won't matter how many bits of yourself you gave away or who took them, because they'll walk you down the same hallway that they walk everyone down, lock you in the same room, and then they'll open the same door and you'll be nothing any more. You'll just be another fractured soul, lost to the depravity of the universe," his voice had cracked slightly on the last word. I had felt his hand drop from my mouth, and he stepped back from me so fast it was like he had been burned.

The first tear had glistened over my waterline of my eye. "I already am a fractured soul, Bell. I already am a nobody, lost to the depravity of the universe," I had whispered, as more tears fell from my eyes. I had hated them. I had hated Bellamy. I had hated my mother. But most of all, I had hated myself. I was nothing but a burden. A burden with a death sentence.

Bellamy had flinched at my words, and his face scrunched up slightly, as if he felt some of the same pain I felt. "Octavia..." he breathed, reaching out to touch my shoulder.

Instinctively, I had shied away from his touch, carefully maneuvering myself around him and out of his reach. "Don't touch me!" the words had come out of my mouth like a hiss, "I hate you, Bellamy! I wish I had never been born. If you had cared what was good for me, you would have killed me as a baby and gotten rid of me!" He had looked as though I had slapped him. It was too much.

And with that, I had stalked over to my makeshift bed, climbing below the floor. Normally I slept with the floorboard off, so I could l could see the ceiling if I woke up, and so I wouldn't feel so cramped and trapped. That night however, I had pulled it over me, blocking out the rest of the room. _The rest of my world_. I had laid there all night, absentmindedly twirling my fingers over my home-made doll, trying my hardest to cry silently.

So there it was, and Bellamy was my pain. I had laid in my nest under the floor for days, not eating and only getting out to use the restroom. I felt lifeless, and I wondered what my future would be like. What would I be in five years? Ten? Fifteen? Twenty? Would I still be here, hidden beneath the floorboards? Would I wilt away, like a flower without the sun? Or would I grow, festering like a mold in the darkness?

The very idea had shot tendrils of despair through my body, and a dark rooted pain had followed. Had I been a normal child, the dark allure of suicide wouldn't have even been a sliver of an idea that would entertain my mind. As it was though, it had become an idea that I had danced around with often. How would I do it? Would I find something sharp, and cut away at my delicate skin until all my blood emptied out onto the machinery? No, too messy. Would I knot up my mothers bed sheet, figure out a way to reach the metal ring at the top of our ceiling, stand on a chair with the sheet wrapped around my neck, and kick it out from under me? No, too many things could go wrong.

What would they do with my body? Would it be mom or Bellamy that got rid of it? Stupid question. Of course Bellamy would get rid of it. After all, he was my keeper. I was his responsibility, as he had reminded me often. He'd be the one to sneak my body into the trash duct, and then he would stand there to watch my lifeless corpse burn.

It wasn't until a week later that the cover to my hiding place had been ripped off. I had opened my eyes to the sudden flooding of light, panicked by the intrusion. The first thought had been that I had been found and that I was going to be taken away. Then, once I had gotten a good look at Bellamy's apologetic face, the second thought had been that I wished I would be.

"Go away, Bell," I had grumbled, rolling onto my stomach.

"C'mon, O. Get up. You reek. Go take a shower," he had poked me in my back.

A rush of irritation had filled me. "Go away. I'm being a good girl and hiding. Besides, its your week to shower," I had grumbled from the crook of my elbow. Our shower in the room had turned on only twice a week, enough for each person that was supposedly living in this room. When we were younger, Bell and I would shower together. My mother had put a stop to that about two years ago, and since then we had each taken one shower every other week.

"Yeah well I'm a guy. I'm supposed to smell bad. You're a girl. You're supposed to smell like flowers and sunshine. So get your stinky ass up and go take a shower."

I had wanted to ask him why I should bother to shower, I mean, who did I have to smell good for anyway? But I hadn't. Questioning Bellamy when he was in a good mood was looking a gift horse in the mouth. At least, that's what my mother had once told me. Whatever that meant. I had crawled my way out of my hole and scurried into the bathroom, where I had proceeded to scrub myself raw with the harshly manufactured soap they made on the Ark. Only once I had been sure that every ounce of sweat and grime was off my skin did I step out and return to my brother.

When I did, I saw that he had been sitting at the single desk in the room, with an empty chair to his side. In front of him had been an empty piece of paper and a pen.

"There. You look much better. Do you feel better?" he had asked me. I hadn't, but I had nodded anyway. "Good, come sit." He had motioned to the chair next to him.

I had complied, sitting on the harsh surface with only a little trepidation. "What are we doing?" I had asked.

"I'm going to teach you how to read and write," was all he had said.

* * *

And then he had been the balm. He had taught me how to read and write that day, and from that point on he had gone out of his way to bring me as much entertainment as he possibly could. He had brought me books from different skill classes, and though I didn't ask how he got them, most likely they were stolen. I had hid them in my nest. He became meticulous about his notes he took for his academic classes, knowing that I would pick through them with unmatched enthusiasm.

Without humor, I had often joked that if I could go to class I'd be the only academic genius in our family. Once I caught onto a concept, it took me very little time to grasp the subject. In fact, it wasn't too long until I had been the one helping Bellamy with his arithmetic. I never did let him live that down, but he didn't seem to mind letting me gloat. In fact, he seemed happy that I had one thing to hold over his head.

I had poured over books about earth survival. I learned which plants were medicinal, which ones were edible, and which ones were poisonous. I learned the theoretical practice of starting a fire. I learned how one would track an animal, or create shelter. I learned about the plethora of different animals on earth: vertebrates, mollusks, arthropods, annelids. Birds were my favorite of all animals. I admired the way they could stretch their wings and soar through the air, having no fear of falling. I sympathized with the plight of them; often, humans would keep them as pets and lock them in cages. Sometimes a bird could be so conditioned that if the door to their cages opened, they wouldn't fly away. I wondered if I would become the same; if the door to my cage one day opened, would I take to the air and fly away? Or would I huddle in the corner, too terrified to leave my prison?

I had studied medical books with a gusto, though I had to return those ones. Apparently Bellamy borrowed them from someone taking advanced healing courses, one of the only classes one could personally keep the books for. A lot of the concepts went over my head in these books, but I did learn basic skills. Theoretically, I knew how to sterilize surgical equipment. I knew how to give CPR. I knew the procedure to properly sterilize or stitch a wound. I didn't get much practical application, to say the least, but when would I ever?

I had known I'd never get to use the skills I so desperately tried to learn, but I tried not to dwell on that. All I cared about was absorbing as much knowledge as I could simply because it made me feel connected. Learning facts, seeing the pictures sometimes dictated next to it, had opened my eyes to a world I had always been denied.

Once I had begun to have too many books to hide, I had to get rid of some of them to get new ones. Bellamy had warned me to slow down with them, because soon it would be impossible to get me more. It seemed that I had burned through most of the intermediate courses, and the books for advanced courses were guarded much more heavily.

I tried not to dwell on that, wondering how a thirteen year old could have possibly gone through most of the curriculum that was supposed to educate most until after they were seventeen. Obviously I had more time on my hands than most thirteen year olds my age. I didn't have to sit through the actual classes, nor did I have to take the tests or complete projects. I also didn't have a set of daily chores that most kids had and I couldn't participate in social events. I suppose that naturally spelled for over achievement. Still though, I had tried as best as I could to slow down. It made for some boring days.

My fourteenth birthday came, and with it came the news of Bellamy's acceptance into the guard program. He had just turned nineteen, and news of his acceptance became a note of prestige for him and my mother. Bellamy, with the extra income he got along with the job, managed to scrounge up enough to buy me a beautifully bound sketch book and a set of pencils as a present. I had never tried my hand at sketching before, but I had been touched. I had immediately thought of the field guide he had somehow managed to get for me the year before for my birthday, and all of the beautiful pictures of exotic birds it depicted. I would love to be able to draw them.

"Bellamy...this is so beautiful. I don't know what to say. Thank you," I had whispered as I ran my hand across the smooth surface of the cover. Tears brimmed my eyes, and I had quickly tucked my chin to hide them, embarrassed. Sometimes the love I felt for Bellamy was overwhelming. He was my sun, he was my stars, he was my whole universe. My life revolved around him, and him alone. My mother was like a distant star in the utmost furthest part of my galaxy. She was rarely in her own room, preferring to spend her time with her various clientele. At least these days she was very precautious with her birth control.

I had felt Bellamy's cool fingers under my jaw, gently lifting my face. His black eyes were bottomless, and a gentle smile graced his handsome features. "Octavia," he had said, as his calloused hands gently wiped the tears from my cheeks. "You don't have to say anything. I love you, and I'm always going to do everything I can to make you happy," he had vowed, and tears had blurred my vision so much that I couldn't see my brother's face in front of me.

"I know that life isn't easy for you, O. I know that you crave a world that you can never have, and I'm sorry," he had continued, and his voice had been gruff with emotion. "But I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you happy, and keep you safe. Always. I promise you."

He had pulled me close to his chest as my tears continued to fall. His jacket had been made of a rough, denim-like material that had scratched against my skin uncomfortably, but I hadn't cared. I clung to him and cried, letting his body muffle my sounds. He was my only constant, my only anything, and I was terrified that someday, I would lose him.

I had known that what he had promised me came at a high cost to him. Never would he marry, because to bring someone else into the family would mean to bring someone else in on the secret. He would never have a child. And once our mom died, if we didn't get caught before then, the liability of me would fall solely upon him. If I were discovered then, he would be the one punished. The thought that I would be the cause of his death physically wounded me.

"I love you, Bellamy," was all I had been able to say.

"Love you too, Octavia."

* * *

And from that day forward, most of my time had been spent doodling in the sketchbook he had bought me. I was careful not to waste my supplies. I drew lightly, and with several sketches on one page. Soon, as all things came with practice, I began to get better. The birds that I attempted to draw had begun to take actual shape instead of wobbly lines, and I had tried very hard to imagine their natural habitats and draw it around them. It was difficult, as I had never seen a tree or the sky, or most of anything I had been trying to draw other than in the books I had been given. Still, my imagination was endless and my artwork had showed for it.

Bellamy had been in guard training for about six months, and though he was still a cadet, he had told me that he was one of the favored candidates. This was good news for him, as he had been invited to several different entertainment events that only guards had access to. Bellamy was convinced that if he could only get a friend in a high enough place, he would one day be able to procure me an identification card on the black market. He had been unaware of it ever have being done before, but if there was anyone that could make it happen, it would be Bellamy. He was the type of person that got things done, and I could only imagine that other people were pulled in by his natural gravitas.

I didn't let myself hope, though. I had walked a careful line for years. I thirsted for knowledge about life outside these walls, but I never ever longed to see it. It would be too much. I had already decided long ago that I would die in that room, and to think of anything else was more than I could handle.

Still, Bellamy continued to excel in his training. He had been allowed more freedoms and had access to items that normal cadets did not. Almost daily, he brought me some sort of token. Sometimes it was a pin, other times it would be a trinket for my hair. Once, he brought me a necklace. It had had a small diamond hanging from it, and I had looked at it open mouthed. Bellamy had explained to me that the diamond had been made by him taking some stray hair from my hairbrush, and that he had pulled enough strings to use some machine called a HPHT to create it. I wore it always and treasured it. It was a diamond made of me, and even if I were gone, it would still exist.

* * *

One day only a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday, I had been sitting at the desk in our room, sketching a keel-billed toucan, which was by far the most beautiful bird I had ever read about. It was flashy, colorful, and vibrant; it was everything that my life on the Ark wasn't. My eyes had lifted to the sound of the door opening, and I was greeted by Bellamy, decked out in his cadet gear. His face had been flushed, and a wide smile graced his features.

"Octavia, I've got to tell you something," he had said, excitedly.

I had rolled my eyes. I had been in a dull mood lately, and the days had seemed longer and more drawn out. Every night, Bellamy had come home later and later, ever more busy with cadet duties. My mother had only showed her face once a week to take her shower. I had been lonely.

"If you're going to tell me about some amazing sunset or shooting star you just saw, you can save it," I had said, with a sigh. "I don't want to hear about what I'm never going to get to see."

Bellamy laughed, and there was joy in the sound. "Octavia, I'm serious. I have great news."

"What is it?" I had asked, feeling wary.

He had pulled something out of his back pocket then, holding it out for me to take. I reached for it, and at first I thought it was some sort of memento. As I had taken it, I had run my hands along the smooth surface of its odd shape. There were two holes in the middle of it, and below but between them was a slight raise of the material. I had looked at it, confused, before looking up to Bellamy for answers.

Laughing at my confusion, Bellamy had good naturedly taken it from my hands, before sliding it over my head. My eyes rested perfectly where the holes were placed, and the slight raise of the material fit my nose.

"What is it, Bell?" I asked, wondering why I had to wear something that covered half of my face.

"Its a mask, O. It'll keep your identity a secret."

My heart had kicked up in its speed as his words registered in my brain. Why would I need to keep my identity a secret? Who would ever see me? "What are you playing at, Bell?" I had whispered.

"There's a viewing party tonight, Octavia. Everyone above the age of thirteen and under the age of eighteen is going. And its a masquerade theme," he had explained.

"Masquerade?" I had asked, the unfamiliar word rolling off my tongue, feeling foreign.

"It means that everyone is going to be wearing one of these," my brother had explained, tapping the mask I wore lightly. He had been grinning, his smile lighting up his usually harsh demeanor. It was infectious, and I had felt a hesitant grin creeping onto my own face. "No one is going to know who anyone is. It means that you can finally go _outside_."

I felt my entire world shift, and for a moment I had swayed unsteadily on my feet. Bellamy, as always, was there to steady me.

"You mean it?" I had asked. All the walls that I had built my entire life to keep my desire to go outside locked away had begun to tremble slightly. "I can go outside and be safe?"

"A bunch of the cadets and I are working as guards for the viewing party. There won't be any senior guards, and I'll be able you get you out of there before the end of the party. You can really go outside."

And just like that, all of my walls came crashing down. The little blossom of hope that I would one day leave this room had burst forth, growing and spreading until it positively roared.

Bellamy had informed me that he would be back later that night to escort me to the party. He had left me to my own devices then, and I had been frantic. I had hurriedly jumped in to take a shower, glad that it was my week to do so. I had brushed my hair until it had shined, and then I had taken to trying different hairstyles and seeing how they looked with the mask. Settling on a simple ponytail, I then had to decide which outfit to wear. I hadn't had many options, being as I got my clothes from my mother and most of her outfits were far too scandalous for me.

I had settled on a simple blue dress with white fringes, as well as the matching leggings to go with it. The dress was shorter than I would have liked, as most of my mothers clothes were, but when added with the leggings it looked less like a whore's outfit and more appropriate for a young girl.

With my hair and outfit completed, there hadn't much else for me to do until Bellamy decided to show up. I had been a bundle of sensitive nerves, and every footstep I heard from outside had been Bellamy coming to get me. I had attempted to sketch, but the pages hadn't held the same allure that day. I attempted to read, but the words had escaped my mind as soon as I read them.

It had almost been like a form of torture. For so long, I had attempted to destroy any shred of hope that I could ever go outside. It was necessary to survive in my life, or else I would have pined away for the world I wasn't and could never be a part of. Bellamy had been a constant reminder of this truth. Now though, he was the one giving me a golden opportunity to see the world I had never thought I would, and I was excited. I was also terrified.

What if I were to leave this room tonight? What if I were to go outside and see the majestic universe we were immersed in? What if I were to go outside and meet someone? A friend? A friend that I would never really know and could never see again? Was the future heartbreak worth it for one night of freedom?

I had thought back to birds. I was a bird, and I had been born in my cage. Now, a miraculous hand had come and was going to open my door. Would I fly away and enjoy my freedom, short lived as it was? Or would I shrivel back inside further, and tremble with fear?

No, I had realized, fear was not an option. It didn't matter what pain I might have had after this night was over. It was worth it, if only for one taste of freedom. I was a bird and I refused to do anything other than fly.

By the time the door to my room had opened and Bellamy had come strutting inside, I felt like I had been ready to explode. I hadn't been able to sit still all day, and the wait had been killing me slowly.

I had jumped up to greet him in excitement, throwing my arms around his shoulders. He had laughed, picking me up and spinning me in a circle before placing me gently back upon the ground.

"Is it time?" I had asked, bouncing up and down in anticipation.

"It's time, little sister," he announced, grinning at my apparent glee. "But we have to go over some rules, first," he had stated with a more familiar, serious tone. I had nodded at his shift in mood, taking him very seriously.

"First off, you are not to take this mask off. You cannot show your actual face. Got it?" I nodded. "Good," he continued, "Secondly, you are to stay in my line of sight at all times. If you go somewhere I can't see you, I'll make you leave early." I nodded again. "And lastly, you are not to tell anybody your name. You can talk to people and dance, but stick to asking about their lives. If they ask you any personal questions, direct it back to them. Do you understand, O?"

"Yeah, Bell. I got it. I'll take this very seriously, I promise," I had sworn to him.

"Alright, little sister. Let's go see the Ark," he had said, after the honesty on my face had assured him that I would follow his rules. He had taken my hand and lead me to the door, peaking his head out to make sure that no one had been coming from either direction before stepping into the corridor.

I had taken a deep breath before exiting my cage, before I danced out of the door and flew into the freedom that outside represented.

At first, I had been very disappointed. The outside of my room had looked very much like the inside had; smooth, metallic surfaces and hard, sharp angles. It wasn't until my brother and I had turned the first corner that I had been struck with beauty.

Before me had been a window, circular in shape. It was made of a smooth, see-through material that allowed me to see the wonderful heavens that spread out all around us. I had been struck by the majestic beauty of it, the way that the stars shone from distant galaxies and the way the earth was so blue and green under its shell of white storm systems. It had been so much more than any book had described, so much more beautiful than I could have ever imagined in my dizziest daydreams. I had been in awe.

"C'mon, O. Lets keep moving," Bellamy had called me out of my trance. I hadn't been so sure I wanted to go to the viewing party anymore, for I would have been satisfied with staring out the window at the beautiful display before me. I knew that Bellamy would never approve of that though, and so I had followed him.

The sound of music had reached me well before the sight of any people did. Bellamy must have taken me by an indirect route, because we had come across no one on our trip to the party. He shuffled me ahead of him as I has come to a door, and he encouraged me to open it.

"I have to go in by another entrance. You go in this one, and stay put until you see me. Okay?"

"Okay," I had whispered. Taking a deep breath, I had steeled myself for whatever lie beyond that door, before opening it and stepping inside quickly.

The noise that assaulted my ears was something I had not been prepared for, nor was the tight fit of bodies in the room. For a moment, all I had been able to do was stand with my back against the door, staring open mouthed at the scene before me. There had been so many people, more than I would have expected, and they had all seemed to be talking or laughing or dancing. Compared to the cramped room I was used to, it had been a sensory overload.

My eyes had scanned the room, searching for my older brother. I had seen people lined along the side of the wall wearing similar uniforms to the one I always saw Bellamy in, and it wasn't long before I saw the the familiar face of my brother join their ranks. His eyes had caught mine, and he had given me a subtle nod of encouragement.

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I began to move my way through the steady stream of people. I was careful to stay in Bellamy's line of sight. It was slightly awkward for me, not knowing anyone and being shoved into the crowd by myself. I had fiddled with the bottom of my mask, making sure it was properly in place. I closed my eyes and let out a shaky exhale as a new song started playing.

_Take off all your skin_

_And be brave when you are free_

My eyes had opened at the lyrics of the song, as if it had been singing just to me.

_Shake off all of your sins_

_And give them back to me_

My body had begun to sway with the melody, and I closed my eyes as I let the lyrics wash over me. As I danced, I shook off all of the sins that had come before me. My mother's sins in creating me. My father's sins in making me and never knowing. My brother's sins in hiding me. My sins for simply existing. For that one moment, I had felt free. In a room full of complete strangers that had up to that moment been complete nonentities to me, that hadn't even been an speck of matter in my universe, I had felt all my fear fall from me like shedding skin. I felt new, and I felt alive for the first time.

_Like the empires of the world unite_

_We are alive_

_And the stars make love to the universe_

_You're my wildfire every single night_

The song ended and I had opened my eyes again. It had been like looking through brand new eyes. The music had felt louder, sharper. I had felt like I could see the sound waves in the air. The bodies around me glowed in color, having evolved from nothing into the brightest stars of my solar system. The atmosphere was joyous, and I had basked in it.

My eyes had danced around, drinking in the faces around me. I had felt like I needed to commit all of them to memory. There had been a girl with long, blonde hair that caught my interest immediately. She had looked to be about my age, maybe older. She had not been in the center of the room, hadn't even really been partaking in the festivities, but that's what had drawn me to her. She was the outsider in the room, the outsider of insiders. Her face, though covered, had not been that of the happy partiers around her. She had been frowning, her delicate pink lips pursed together tightly, and her arms had been crossed across her slender frame. As if she had felt my eyes observing her, she had met mine with her own from across the room. When she hadn't immediately looked away, I had felt compelled to hold her gaze, and once I did I had known that I had the right idea about her. This girl was a girl familiar to secrets herself, and I had felt a sudden sense of camaraderie.

My inner monologue had to a stop by some guy coming up to me, two drinks in his hands. He had held one out to me. "You look thirsty," he had said, with a smile. "My name is Jasper. I don't think I've seen you around before. Are you from Phoenix? Or Arcadia?"

I had taken the cup from him, sipping lightly as I had attempted to come up with the answers to his questions. I had known that Bellamy had given specific instructions to not give out any personal information, but it seemed like that would be easier said than done.

I had let my eyes wander over his face, this man called Jasper. Most of it had been covered my his mask, but I could make out bright green eyes framed by long, dark lashes. He had a wide smile with straight, white teeth. His hair had been dark, short, and had had a slight curl to it. He had a certain charm of a boy who never had to deal with a life of secrets. He had also been the first person other than my brother and mother I'd ever spoken to.

"What's wrong with you?" I had joked lightly, though nervousness had shone through it. "This is a _masquerade_ party. The whole point of a masquerade party is that for one night, one night in a life of so many nights, it doesn't matter who you are," I had spoken the words lightly, but I locked gazes with him. "You can be anyone you want to be. You can make things up. So for tonight, I'm a mystical spirit that appeared from the universe to attend this party. I've come to gaze my eyes on these things called humans and take in as much as I can of their beauty, for when the clock strikes midnight I will disappear from this realm, and will never come back again."

It was pretty much true. Sure, I was by no means a mystical spirit, but when this night was up I would disappear once more from this existence.

Jasper had been looking at me, open mouthed, as if he had really believed my story. His dumbstruck look had slowly shifted into a smile, and there had been a slight twinkle in his eye. "Well then, mystical creature, would you care to bestow a dance upon a humble mortal like myself?" He had placed his drink down upon a table an arm's length away from us, and then had held his free hand out to me in offering.

I had smiled, and a strange, unfamiliar feeling had flooded through my body. I had felt giddy and warm, but I hadn't forgotten my brother's eyes, that were most likely following my every move. My eyes had flashed to him and indeed he had been observing Jasper and I's interaction closely. His face had been almost unreadable, but I had been able to detect a tightness to his eyes.

I had trained my eyes back on Jasper, who hadn't seemed to notice my slight hesitation, and placed my drink next to his. I had then placed my hand lightly in his outstretched one, and I had been surprised at how much bigger his hand had been compared to mine. He had led me into the dance floor as some song with a slower beat began, and I made sure that Bellamy would be able to see me before I followed.

We had come to a stop, and Jasper had placed one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. We still had a respectable distance apart, which I had known Bellamy would approve of. I had placed one hand on his shoulder, and the other in his hand, just as Bellamy had once taught me. We had swayed in time with the music, with him leading confidently and me following hesitantly.

"Are you having fun tonight? I'd hate to have your one night among us to bore you," his voice had startled me out of my thoughts, and I reminded myself to focus.

"It is quite beautiful. Everyone seems to be having fun, and you can feel it in the air," I had replied, making sure to keep my response neutral.

"Yeah? I didn't think this would be so impressive to some mystical spirit. Must be pretty plain to someone like you," he said, and he had been grinning. I had allowed myself to sport a smile similar to his before answering.

"I suppose it is plain, on the surface," I had agreed, "but you have to remember that these eyes are new. I might have seen some sights, but all is new around me."

He had laughed, and it was an amused sound. "You're different than anything I've ever encountered, mystical spirit, " he had almost whispered, his voice soft but strong at the same time. "Tell me, how exactly do you spend your days?"

My breath had caught in my throat at how dangerous this conversation had become. I had come up with something quickly. "Sometimes I'm nothing, only a dark mist in the corner of the universe. Sometimes I'm a glowing star. Other times I appear on earth and fly with the birds in the sky, and I touch the clouds with my wings."

"That sounds beautiful," he had whispered, and I had felt the same, warm feeling from earlier flood through me again.

"But its lonely," I had whispered, before a sudden movement had caught my eye. Bellamy had been walking in our direction, and though to a casual observer we hadn't seemed to be his target, I had understood the warning perfectly. I could talk, but not make friends with. I couldn't draw too much attention to myself.

The song had chosen that moment to end, and Bellamy had continued on to a group of teenagers that had been getting a little too rowdy. I had stepped back from Jasper, and he had looked surprised at my sudden departure.

"I see my friend over there," I had said vaguely, taking the split second he took to look where I pointed to head off in the opposite direction.

I had searched the room for Bellamy, who had taken up residence by the door I had entered through. I had looked at him in what I had hoped was a pleading manner. The fun had come to an abrupt stop after my dance with Jasper had ended, and I had been able to tell that the party was beginning to wind down. I had wanted to have Bellamy take me home, and he sent me a nod before beckoning me with a subtle gesture.

I had breathed a sigh of relief as I began to walk slowly towards him. I had been satisfied that my adventure outside had been a successful one; I had seen so many new faces to draw, had had a conversation with a stranger, and had been able to follow all of Bellamy's rules.

I had almost reached him, when the lights had suddenly come on, and the music had come to an abrupt stop. I had spun around quickly to see a group of senior guards begin to file in.

"Octavia, " my brother had whispered, and he had been suddenly at my side. He had grabbed my arm tightly, pulling me close.

"Identification Cards out," one of the guards had called out loudly, and I had felt fear trickle down my spine. I had looked to Bellamy and had seen the same fear I had reflecting back at me.

"O, this wasn't supposed to happen," he whispered frantically. It sounded like an apology.

"Cadet Blake, what are you doing?" asked a senior guardsman. He had approached us quickly. His skin had been more of a yellow tone than I had seen on anywhere else, and his eyes were smaller and more slanted. "Who is this?" he had asked, looking at me.

"I was just scanning her, sir," Bellamy had said, and I heard the fear in his voice.

"Oh, alright. Hurry up, then," the guardsman had said, before he had turned around and began to walk back the way he had come. I had let out a sigh of relief, just in time to see him freeze in his tracks. He had turned back around to us, and I could have sworn a jolt of understanding cross his face.

"Bellamy...you don't have a scanner," he had said slowly, almost regretfully.

"Commander, please," Bellamy had whispered, looking around us frantically. "Please just let this go," he had begged.

"Bellamy, you know I can't do that," the Commander had said, and I had almost been able to detect a hint of regret. Just then, he had shifted his gaze to me. "I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me, young lady," he had said, grabbing the arm that Bellamy wasn't holding. He began to pull me away from my brother, and I had panicked.

"Bellamy!" I called out, trying to struggle away from my captor.

"Its gonna be okay, Octavia. We're gonna figure this out, I swear!" he had yelled back. He attempted to follow me, only to be stopped by other cadets.

As I was pulled out of the room, my eyes locked with Jasper, who had been watching me get escorted out, and he looked at me in what had seemed to be panic. I had known then that my stories began to make sense to him. Shame had burned me as I heard the whispers and gasps around me.

* * *

And that was how I had found myself here. After hours of questioning, in which I had to describe my living situation in minute detail (how I obtained food, how I showered, where I had slept, how I had avoided detection for so long) I was shown to a holding cell and left there. It was much more roomy than I had expected, and there was even a small window that I was able to look through.

It was much more than I had expected. After years of Bellamy telling me what it would be like if I were discovered, the conditions in which I found myself were surprising. There was indeed three meals a day, delivered to me personally by a handful of guards. They were respectful of me, a few even even going as far as asking me if there was anything they could do to make me more comfortable.

All I asked for was Bellamy. I needed to hear from him like a physical ache in my chest. I needed to make sure he was okay. I needed to make sure he didn't hate me.

But Bellamy didn't show. About a month after I was discovered, I had been given a few of my personal items, much to my surprise. My sketchbook and pencils, my field guide of birds, and the diamond necklace that Bellamy had made for me. I had donned that immediately, holding the stone in between my fingers almost always. From that point, I had spent my days much like I always had. I ate, I slept, I sketched, and I worried.

* * *

"Wow, that's really good, Octavia," a voice had interrupted my sketching one day, after about three months of captivity. I was obviously distracted, because I hadn't even heard the door open. I looked up to see Commander Shumway, my captor. I hadn't seen him since the night of my questioning, and it made me nervous to have him here.

"Thank you," I said coolly, closing my sketchbook quietly. I didn't want this man looking at my drawings. "Where's Bellamy? What happened to him? You didn't Float him, did you?" the questions left my mouth in a rush.

"Relax, Octavia. Your brother is fine. He hasn't been Floated, nor will he be. He isn't in Confinement, either. He has lost his cadet status, however," the Commander informed me. I felt a rush of relief, as well as sadness. Poor Bellamy, having his cadet status stripped from him so cruelly. "Your mother is another story," the man continued. "She has been executed."

Good. It was what she deserved. I felt no sadness at the thought of my mother's demise. "Can I see my brother?" I asked, choosing to ignore the information about my mom.

"It might be possible," the Commander said, lightly. "There are some things being decided that could make that happen. A lot of things depend on Bellamy," he explained. "That's not why I came to see you today, however."

_Of course it wasn't_, I thought scathingly. "Oh really? I would never have guessed," I said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. "Why is it you've decided to grace me with your presence, O' Great Commander?" I asked him.

He decided to ignore my impertinence, and instead continued on. "You're going to get a roommate today," he informed me. "Normally those Confined are roomed separately from each other, but this room was designed to hold two. It is also the nicest holding cell we have, and Clarke is someone of status here on the Ark. We can't just hold her anywhere," he explained, and I looked at him suspiciously.

"Why am I in the nicest holding cell on the Ark, Commander?" I asked, not understanding. "I'm a nobody."

His eyes tightened, and he looked down at the floor. "Look, I like your brother," he admitted, and I could hear the honesty in his voice. "He is a good kid. He would have made a good guard. I was going to request for him to join the senior guard early. I knew he had been hiding something, but I never imagined it was his little sister. For me to have been the one to have discovered you.." he trailed off, raising his eyes to meet mine. "It's not a situation I wanted to find myself in."

My heart ached at his words, but I was glad that my brother had a friend in such a high place. "You could have walked away.." I whispered, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them. "You could have just walked away..." My throat caught.

"Octavia, I know you don't understand, but I couldn't do that," he said, and his eyes beseeched me. I looked away, not liking the way they begged for my forgiveness. "If you had been found at a later time, and it had been found out I knew about you, I would have been Floated. Maybe if I had discovered you by different means, in a private setting, I would have had more options. I'm sorry, Octavia. Really, I am."

I didn't respond to his apology. I had nothing in me to forgive him. He had shattered my life into pieces in a matter of seconds.

"Anyway," he continued, clearing his throat at the tension in the air. "I arranged for you to be kept here as a favor to him. He asked me to let you have some personal effects, and I allowed them for the same reason," he said, and his tone was tilting, as if he expected something.

What, was I supposed to just get on my knees and thank him _kindly_? As if. My mother might have willingly played those games, but I sure as hell never would. "So when is this Clarke girl going to be here?" I asked, pointedly changing the subject.

He seemed disappointed for a moment, but continued on, "She's in questioning at the moment. I don't know when that's going to be done. Most likely within the next six hours," he told me, and I felt sympathy for the girl. Questioning was brutal.

I watched as he reached into his inner coat pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. "This is from Bellamy," he told me, as he extended his arm. "He asked me to give it to you. I can't do this often but I just.." he trailed off, and I snatched the letter out of his hand so fast that he blinked in surprise. I held it to my chest possessively.

"Thank you," I said grudgingly, and the words tasted bad on my tongue. Still, though, I supposed I owed him gratitude of some twisted sort. I guess he had pulled a lot of strings for me.

He smiled, "You're welcome," he said, and his voice was soft. He reached out to touch my shoulder, but I cringed away from him. He stopped short, clearing his throat again and retracting his hand.

Ugh, what a creep.

"Well that's all that I needed discuss," he said, and his tone signaled the end of our visit. "If you need anything, just ask the guards." And with that, he left the room.

I waited until he had been gone for several minutes, and then looked at the letter in my hands. I felt my eyes start to burn before I even unfolded the paper. Once I did, I made out Bellamy's untidy scrawl immediately.

_My Dear Octavia,_

_Words can't express how much I miss you and how sorry I am. I miss coming home from work to your face and your annoying chatter._

_I can't believe I was so stupid. I was careless, O. I'm so sorry. You should have never been anywhere near that viewing party. I had been so desperate to make you happy, I forgot about the most important thing. Keeping you safe._

_I've asked Shumway to keep an eye out for you, and I have heard that he is. I'm doing everything I can for you from the outside, O. Don't be scared, little sister. I promised that I would always protect you, and I will. There are some things that are going on on the Ark, things I can't discuss with you right now, but I might be able to see you sooner than you would think._

_Love you, Octavia. Keep your chin up. We're going to figure this out._

_-B._

I clutched the letter to my chest, trying to stop tears from falling. I sat down upon my bed pallet heavily, curling onto my side and wrapping my arms around myself in order to keep from falling apart. If Bellamy was being strong for me, I would be strong for him. I had to be.

* * *

**Please review and put on your alerts! There will be more to come. Also, the song that was playing during the dance was 'Empire', by Shakira. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

**Here's the second chapter. As I said, the chapter is much shorter and easier to read. Haha. I've had a lot of traffic with this story, but no one has left a review. It's kind of disheartening. When writing fanfiction, there is a large part of you that wants to hear what other's think of your work. There isn't any other rewards other than the joy of writing it. So please leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**Standard disclaimer. I own nothing. I make no money. All rights to CW and Kass Morgan, exclusively. **

* * *

After Shumway's departure, I reread Bellamy's letter what felt like a thousand times. I was careful not to cry on it because I didn't want the writing to get smudged.

I missed my brother so much that I felt like my heart would literally explode. I missed his presence. Sure, I had grown up in a room much smaller than this one and had had a lot less luxuries that I did now, but I would have given it all up in a second to go back in time and become the secret I once was. Back to when I would wait all day to see Bellamy's face, and then spend all night talking and laughing with him. I had been a bird that had had the courage to fly, but I wished I had been cowardly and hid. My mother would still be alive. My brother would still be a cadet. My life wouldn't be a hourglass, emptying of it's burden much too quickly.

It wasn't too long after Shumway left that my new roommate made her appearance. She was carried in by two guards, and I was surprised to see that she was completely knocked out. The guards placed her gently upon the bed pallet, as if she might break.

Once they left, I scurried over to her side of the room. Sitting on the side of her bed, I observed her face. I was surprised to realize that I remembered this face. She had been the blonde girl I had noticed at the viewing party the night I had been discovered.

This was the other girl with secrets. The insider that was also an outsider. Her name was Clarke.

I observed her as she slept. It was easier now that she wasn't on the opposite side of the room and wasn't wearing a mask. Her face was relaxed in sleep, unblemished by her waking worries. Her eyebrows arched delicately over her eyes, and she had long, blonde lashes. I couldn't see the the color of her eyes, but they were twitching ever so slightly under her eyelids. She had a small nose that worked well with her face, but she had a slight bump on the ridge of it. Her pink lips were delicate, and they pouted in her sleep.

As she slept, she began to toss and turn, throwing her body one way and then the other. I knew that she would be waking up soon, and I hurriedly scampered back over to my bed. I laid on my stomach, with my sketchbook in front of me so I could pretend to do something other than watch her.

"Ughhh.." the girl groaned. Her face scrunched up and her hands went to her temples, rubbing them gently as she sat up and looked around at her surroundings. Her eyes fell on me.

"Who are you?" she asked me, though there was a familiarity in her eyes.

"Octavia," I had said quietly.

Recognition flashed in her eyes. ""I saw you at the viewing party. We had a long, awkward stare down towards the end."

I nodded, though I didn't recall feeling awkward at the viewing party.

"I left, before the party ended. I didn't see the guards.." she had trailed off, sounding sheepish.

"Its okay. You didn't miss much, " I told her. _Only my life falling apart_, I finished in my head.

"How old are you?" my new roommate asked me.

"If my estimates are correct, I am fifteen years, four months, six days, four hours and twenty-seven minutes old," I informed her, looking at the clock on the wall to confirm.

My roommate had looked at me oddly. "You count down to the minute when someone asks how old you are?" she had asked.

"Well believe it or not, not too many people have ever asked me how old I am," I told her, grinning at my lame attempt of humor. "I never used to count the minutes. They didn't really matter. Now, though, I know they're numbered," I explained to her. I reached my hand up to my neck, and grabbed the small stone that hung there, pinching it between my fingers. "Every moment is precious now."

She watched me for a moment, frowning. I wondered why she had ended up in here with me. Shumway had said she was a person of status on the Ark, but what did that even mean?

"I'm sixteen. My birthday is in four months," she told me. So this girl had less time than I did. Unfortunate.

"Do you know what happened to my brother?" I asked her. Bellamy's letter had been suspiciously empty of any personal details of his condition, and I worried. I knew he hadn't gotten Floated, but that was about all I knew.

I detected a faint grimace from Clarke and noted it curiously. Did she not care for my brother? How odd. It was difficult for me to imagine someone not liking my brother. But then, I suppose, he had been my whole universe. For me, it was either like him or be miserable. But I could remember the way he had sometimes acted when we were younger, I could remember the darkness in his eyes when we fought, and I wondered what kind of a person he was outside the four walls I grew up in.

"He's fine. He got demoted to janitor, " she explained. "I can't imagine Bellamy Blake having a sister. He always seemed so self centered."

I frowned slightly, "He was the best brother I could have ever asked for," I defended. "He could have turned me in at any time. He would have been rewarded for it. But he didn't," I told her, and a small smile graced my lips. "He went out of his way to try to make me happy. He taught me how to read, and how to write. He would bring me books from the different skill classes. He bought me my sketchbook. He would bring me home different trinkets every night from the outside," I sighed, and as I spoke the words the wound from Bellamy's absence festered painfully. "I would have died long ago without him."

Clarke looked at me, and though at first her gaze seemed critical, it slowly softened. "I can't imagine having a sibling. Its such a crazy idea to me," she shook her head.

"What was your family like?" I had asked her. I watched as her shoulders hunched, and she seemed to curl in on herself.

"My mother is a Council member. She's a reknown healer on the Ark," she told me, and I had been shocked. A council member's daughter, and she was Condemned? Granted, I didn't know much about the social order outside, but I knew enough to know that her mother was a very important member of Society. "My father is..._was_," her voice caught on her correction, "an engineer. He was a brilliant man. He used to work to advance the technology on the Ark, to make it more efficient."

"What happened to him?" I asked softly, detecting a fresh wound in the girl.

"He was Floated," she said, and her voice was cold and hard. She looked at me then, and I saw it again. I saw the way her secrets swam in front of her eyes, threatening to drown her. She took that moment to turn onto her other side, back towards me. When her muffled cries began, I took that as a sign that our conversation was over.

I observed her back, watching as tremors rippled through her frame. I wanted to ask what had gotten her thrown in here, but I figured that that was a conversation for another day.

* * *

And so months passed.

I discovered Clarke and I had a lot in common, despite having lived very different lives. She loved the idea of flowers as much as I loved the idea of birds. She too was an artistic soul, and her drawing supplies were given to her after only a few days of her imprisonment. She was a lot more skilled than I, but her subject matter was different. Where I drew pictures of landscapes and birds, she drew people. Her eye was sharp, and her pictures were so defined that they looked like photographs on the page.

I told her what my life had been like before discovery. I told her of my nest in the floor, and how I would hide below the feet of the guards as they checked our rooms and made passes at my mother. I detailed the wild daydreams I had of flying away onto earth and soaring the sky without a care in the world. I asked her all the questions I had ever had in regards to the skill books I had once read, and she was much more informative than Bellamy had been.

She in turn told me about her life. She was born to Pheonix, though her father had been from Wells. She had graduated early from her intermediate skill courses, and had begun advanced healing courses the year before. She had wanted to follow the footsteps of her mother. It seemed that she had respected and admired her mother greatly, but it had been her father that she had adored. She spoke of the games they had played when she had been a child, and the way he had always had time to help her with her studies. His favorite thing, according to her, had been watching old sporting events on the old projection model they had procured. His favorite sport had been 'football'. Whatever that was.

Clarke's birthday came, and I gave her a picture I had drawn of a white dove.

"Its beautiful," Clarke had said, running a hand over the picture on the page. She had looked at me then. "What is it?" she had asked.

"Its a dove," I told her. "They were one of the most common birds on earth, but they were very useful and beautiful." She had looked down at the page again with renewed interest. "They could be used to carry letters back and forth across long distances. The most interesting thing about them, though, was their ability to adapt. When modern technology gave way to urbanization and their habitats were destroyed, most species adapted to the urban sprawl and flourished under trying circumstances."

She smiled at my explanation, and placed the picture to her side, careful not to wrinkle the edges. "Thank you, Octavia," she had said, and I knew that she had meant it for more than just the picture.

I was surprised to find that Clarke's mother didn't visit her on her birthday. I knew that most people didn't get visitors when they were Confined, but I had figured that her mother's status would buy for some leniency in that regard. Though she hadn't said anything about it, I could tell that Clarke had thought the same thing by the way her eyes would stray to the door ever so often, as if waiting. When her mother didn't show, she had balled herself under her blankets and cried. I did my best to give her privacy.

* * *

Before I knew it, almost a year had passed that I had been in Confinement. My sixteenth birthday was quickly approaching, and with it came a depression that threatened to suffocate me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to see Bellamy, and it killed me. It felt like every second that I didn't see him was a stab in my chest, an ache that never ended. I couldn't believe that it had been almost a year since I had seen his face.

I tried not to let my depression show, because I knew that Clarke was dealing with her own. Her eighteenth birthday was quickly approaching, only seven months away. I wondered what it was like to know that only months, not years, separated you from death.

"Don't they have a Retrial when you turn eighteen?" I had asked Clarke one day. We had been particularly silent that day, both imagining our separate but same demises.

"Yeah, but everyone knows that the Retrial is a joke," Clarke explained to me. "There's only been one case of thousands that has had a successful Retrial, and they only let him off because he was terminally ill and was going to die anyway. They have the Retrial as a formality; to give us Condemned a thing to hope for and to give them the satisfaction of saying '_they did all they could_'."

Her words had settled into my stomach like a piece of lead. She had said the words coldly, with no emotion, and with them she had shred my last sliver of hope to pieces.

I rolled over onto my side, turning my back to her. She noticed my shift in mood and was immediately apologetic.

"Oh, Octavia, I'm sorry," she said, as she crossed from her side of the room to mine. She sat down on my pallet, but I didn't turn to face her. "You never know, your Retrial might go your way. Bellamy's liked by a lot of high ranked people, and his influence might do a lot to help you," she said, and she began to rub my back. "And it's not like you're a criminal by choice. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah, except exist," I said without humor.

"Yeah, well that's a whole lot better than being charged with propagating highly classified, top secret information about the Ark," she said, and though it had obviously been a joke to help cheer me up, there was a ring of honesty to her words that caused me to turn around and face her.

"Are you serious?" I asked, open mouthed.

"As a heart attack," Clarke joked, but then her features actually turned serious. "You remember when I told you my dad was an engineer?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, wanting her to continue.

"Well I was telling you the truth when I told you he worked to make the energy systems more efficient. But he was also working on the oxygen filters on the Ark, to try to make those more efficient as well," I nodded, because that made sense. Oxygen was the most important thing on the Ark. "Well when he was trying to do that, he came across something that he shouldn't have."

She stopped talking for a moment, and there was a far away look on her face. "The oxygen systems on the Ark are failing, Octavia. If they can't fix it within the year, oxygen levels on the Ark will hit a critical low," she announced.

"What does that mean?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew.

"The Ark is dying, Octavia. If they don't figure out how to fix it, every one on the Ark is dead."

* * *

**There it is! Next chapter should be posted within the next few days. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you SO MUCH to the three anonymous people that reviewed! I appreciate it. Also, thank you to the people that favorited and alerted the story. I hope you're enjoying.**

**To the guest reviewer-that's exactly what I thought when I watched the episode! I feel like Octavia and Bellamy's relationship is very much downplayed in the show. There would have to be some co-dependency issues going on. There just had to be. And let's not get me started on last night's episode! I don't even want to go there. Haha.**

**I hope you enjoy the third chapter! It's a bit angsty at first. I hope I didn't lay it on too thick. Please review and let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: All rights to CW and Kass Morgan, respectively. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

Clarke's announcement had left me staggering. The Ark was dying; that in itself was a debilitating thought. The fact that we all had maybe a year left-that was the real blow.

I had been banking on my two years. It wasn't a lot of time, not really. Compared to the universe we were suspended in, two years wasn't even a second on the small hand of the clock. But for me, it was all I had on my side. Maybe I would come to peace with my death in those two years. Maybe I could spend everyday of those two years staring out of the window of my cell, into the cosmos that were set to be my grave. Maybe I could see Bellamy one last time.

_Bellamy_.

My heart shriveled up and died for what seemed to be the thousandth time. I realized then that Clarke was talking about more than death for us. She was talking about death for _everyone_. Bellamy included.

I couldn't stand the thought. Since my Confinement, I had often thought about what Bellamy's life might be like now. He didn't have a deadly secret to carry around anymore, and that opened possibilities that had never been available to him. He could have a girlfriend. He could get married and have a child. Maybe he'd have a little girl that looked just like me and name her Octavia.

I liked the thought of that. Of knowing that even when I died, a small part of me would stay behind with him.

I swallowed back the despair that threatened to choke me. I felt arms cover my shoulders, and I looked up to see that Clarke was holding me. I had forgotten she was even there.

She didn't say anything, just simply held me. I turned my body so that my head rested on her chest. "I don't want my brother to die," I whispered, brokenly. "Anything but that. Anything but that."

Still, she just held me. She didn't say a word. There was nothing _to_ say.

I didn't realize when I started crying, but before I knew it there was a large, dark wet spot on her shirt. She didn't seem to mind. Finally, completely cried out and exhausted, I fell asleep in her arms.

That night had marked a changing point in Clarke and I's relationship. Before, we had been two people thrown together by circumstance, destined to spend our last days together. We had been amicable and kind to each other, but it was different now. Now, we were more than that.

We were friends. Clarke Griffin, my first ever friend.

When she had told me her first secret, the darkest and most dangerous of them all, it had opened a floodgate.

She told me of the hatred she felt for Chancellor Jaha. He had been one of her parent's best friends and he had Floated her father in only a moment's notice. She told me of the deep betrayal that had come from the Chancellor's son, who had been her best friend. She had told him her father's secret, and he in turn had run to his father.

Nothing was off topic for us now. I asked her all sorts of questions I had never dared ask Bellamy. Most of them had to do with the opposite sex. It was silly, I know, but I would never get the chance to flirt and kiss and touch. I had to work with what I could, and living vicariously through Clarke's past experiences was all I had.

We also never slept separately again. At night, we would hold onto each other like there was nothing else keeping us grounded and we would talk for hours before falling asleep. It was comforting to know that we had each other.

My birthday came and she gave me something I would cherish above all my other possessions. She looked nervous before she gave it to me. A simple piece of paper.

"Happy birthday," she said, as she held it out for me. I reached my hand out, taking it from her gently.

I inhaled sharply once my eyes took in the picture there. In perfect detail, as if she had been staring at him as she drew it, was Bellamy. Everything was there, even the small scar he had under his eye from an injury he had as a child. The look on his face was hard and serious, and his mouth was a harsh line. It wasn't a look that I had seen often, but it apparently was the look Clarke had remembered most.

"Oh, my god," I exclaimed, looking up from my present to Clarke. She looked nervous, waiting for my reaction. "Clarke, this is beautiful! You're so talented. Thank you, so much," I gushed. It really was the best present I had ever had ever gotten. For her to know exactly what I needed and go out of her way for me meant more than she would ever know.

"Don't mention it," Clarke said, shrugging, but I could tell she was secretly pleased. I didn't know why she was bothering with false modesty, but I didn't care.

It was nice, having a friend.

* * *

Maybe having a friend wasn't as nice as I thought.

Having a friend was to be vulnerable. I had only ever had my brother, and he had been my whole universe. I loved him fiercely, with my whole existence.

Now though, there was Clarke. I hadn't known her long, not at all, but she dug herself into my heart and made residency there. My every waking moment was spent with her, as were my non-waking moments. She was strong where I was weak, and she was weak where I was strong. She had become my confidante, my shoulder to cry on, and I had become hers.

And soon, she would be gone. I knew that I wouldn't have long without her, what with the Ark dying and all, but I still ached for the loss to come. The thought of Clarke being Floated was almost as painful as the thought of Bellamy. And to think that I wouldn't be there to hold her hand in her last moments...

I hurt. My heart hurt. My _soul_ hurt.

The days leading up to Clarke's execution flew by way too quickly. Hours felt like minutes, days felt like hours, weeks felt like days. Seven months turned to six, and then five.

Clarke had chosen to take the martyr approach to things. She seemed to have no fear of her death, instead finding solstice in that she had been sentenced to die trying to do the right thing.

"My father is out there, Octavia," she told me one evening when the subject of her demise had creeped into our before-bed talks. "He died doing what he believed was right, and I will too. I can't ask for more than that."

"Death isn't noble, Clarke. It isn't some grand spectacle that can be used to further your cause," I told her. "Its a damn disgrace. The thought of you being just another soul lost to the depravity of the universe..." I trailed off, letting the words Bellamy had spoken to me so many years before ring in my ears before continuing. "The thought of you dying hurts more than the thought of my own death. I always knew my death was inevitable. I didn't know when, I didn't know how, but I knew one day I'd be discovered and that would be it for me," I told her. Clarke made a face, and looked like she was about to say something, but I cut her off by continuing. "But you! You're everything that's great about what's left of the human race. You're smart, and strong. You care about the people on the Ark, so much that you would die to give them a chance at life. You were born to a person in power. You should have been protected."

Clarke was silent, and I continued. "So don't fool yourself into thinking that your death is the next honorable step for you. I want you to know, Clarke, that your death will be a travesty. The universe will become a darker place because you're not in it." My words were her epitaph, and I felt her normally strong facade melt away.

She cried as I held her.

* * *

The next day, we had both awoke to the sound of our cell door opening. It was not something that we had heard often in these last few months.

When we woke, Clarke's legs had been tangled in mine, her head on my chest and her hair in my face. In the next second, she was gone.

"Mom!" I heard her cry. I blinked a few times to clear my vision of sleep, and sure enough, a woman stood in the doorway.

I observed Clarke's mother, taking in her similar face and hair. There were other similarities between them, and it was obvious that Clarke's genes preferred her mother over her father.

"What are you doing here?" Clarke asked, as her mother stepped further into the cell.

Whatever they had said next was lost to me, for as soon as Clarke's mother had stepped past the doorway, my eyes locked with a familiar pair of black ones.

I was off the bed and flying through the air into his arms before I had even realized that I moved. It had been over a year since my Confinement began, and I hadn't seen my brother in just as long. My arms wrapped around his shoulders, and he picked me up and twirled me around. A wet, sloppy kiss graced my cheek.

"Oh, Bellamy, I've missed you so much!" I cried, burying my nose in the crook of his neck. I inhaled deeply, trying to ingrain the smell to my memory. It was cleaning supplies, engine fumes, the harsh freshness of the soap on the Ark, and another smell that was pure Bellamy.

"I've missed you too, O," he said gruffly as he squeezed me tightly. "I've missed you so much." I could hear the emotion in his voice.

"What are you doing here?! Oh, never mind it doesn't matter! I'm so happy to see you!" I felt tears start to form in my eyes, but I blinked them away. I had been doing nothing but cry lately, and this was a happy occasion! I refused to ruin it with tears.

"No, Octavia, it does matter," he said, and his tone abruptly turned serious. He slowly pried me off of him. He held both of my hands in his. "There's something important that I need to tell you." His dark eyes betrayed his current feelings. I could see fear in their stormy depths. But there was something else in them, too.

Hope.

"They're sending you to Earth."

* * *

**Another short and sweet chapter! Don't forget to review! The next chapter should be up within the next few days, but you might get it faster if you give me some inspiration! *winkwink* **


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you so much to all the people that reviewed! I read each and every one of them and loved them. I'm glad that most of you seem to be enjoying the story.**

**I've been editing and fretting over this chapter for the last few days, trying to decide whether to post it as it is or change some things. I hadn't intended for this chapter to go the way that it did, but once I started writing it, my characters decided to develop their own minds and do whatever the hell they wanted. That being said, there is some unexpected girl on girl action in this chapter, and since at the moment our two main characters are Octavia and Clarke, I bet you can guess whom it centers around. **

**If you don't like it, I'm not sorry.**

**But do not despair! This isn't going to become a regular occurrence, and the main pairing will eventually be LincolnxOctavia. Don't you worry your pretty little heads. **

**I've also taken some liberties with the timeline. For me, the details of the 100's trip down to earth were very sketchy. The only reason given as to why they had abandoned the earth was because apparently there had been a massive nuclear war. And then they decide that 97 years later it would suddenly be safe enough to send their kids down? Talk about some half-cooked idea. I didn't go into massive detail but I feel I was able to spin a semi-believable story. I mean jeesh. Haha.**

**Akira91- I've actually never read the book! I know some details about it from the reviews I've read online, but I've never taken the time to read it. Most of the reviews were bad. I just like to give acknowledgement to the author in my disclaimer. I do agree with you about the show, though. There is very little time spent on character development, which bothers me. It's actually one of the reasons I decided to write this fic.**

**Sorry about this massive author's note! Lets get on to other matters.**

**Standard Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to CW and Kass Morgan, respectively. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

"They're sending you to Earth."

I was obviously hallucinating. I must have hit my head and knocked myself silly. Maybe I was in a coma right now, and this was all some weird, fucked up dream.

Because I certainly could _not_ have heard him correctly.

"What are you talking about, Bell?" I asked, flabbergasted. "That's...that's impossible! The earth isn't capable of supporting life!" I exclaimed.

Everyone on the Ark knew this, and I was no exception. Our people had been on the Ark for almost 300 years because of this. The Earth had been poisoned by modern technology. Landfills had been filled with toxic materials like lead and mercury. The rivers had been filled with the fifth of human waste. Use of fossil fuels had lead to excesses of greenhouse gasses that had led to severe climate shifts. Countries used weapons of mass destruction against one another. There had been large parts of the world poisoned by nuclear radiation.

I remembered how beautiful the planet looked when I observed it from our window, but I knew that it was just an illusion. Earth was hell, and I would be getting shipped off there.

"There are reasons to believe that it can," this came not from my brother, but from Clarke's mother. I looked to her, and observed her critically. For a moment, I had almost forgotten Clarke and her mother were there.

"Oh yeah, and what are those?" Clarke asked, her voice like steel. I had the feeling that her reunion with her mother wasn't the same warm reunion that my brother and I were having. I wish I had paid more attention to them.

"We've been observing the planet's weather patterns for centuries, Clarke. In the last hundred years or so, most of the planet's climate has seemed to level out. It doesn't go out of the realm of possibility that life is possible."

Did this woman even hear herself? She was telling her daughter that she was being sent through space, into the atmosphere of a virtually unknown planet, that _may_ or _may not_ be suitable for life, so why did she sound so okay with it?

"And what? You guys are just going to send a group of a hundred misfit toys down to Earth to do the job _you guys_ are supposed to do?" Clarke all but fumed at her mother. "Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?" At least Clarke and I were on the same wavelength with that one.

But something else caught my attention. "Wait, what do you mean a hundred 'misfit toys'?" I asked, not understanding the analogy.

Clarke faced me, "They're sending 100 of the Condemned down," she explained. "And lucky us, we've got two tickets to the party."

"We're sending you down to give us a chance, Clarke. You of all people should understand why," her mother had said, and I could almost see the invisible guilt that her mother was pressing on her.

"That's bullshit!" I exclaimed, rushing to Clarke's side to defend her. "You're sending us to die, O' Great Councilwoman. And you're doing it so you have a hundred less people to suck up your precious oxygen."

I saw Bellamy's shocked expression and tried not to grin. He had never heard me use that type of language before. Having Clarke as a friend meant you learnt about more than just boys.

"Listen, Octavia. It doesn't matter," Bellamy said, pulling my attention back to him. "You're being sent down no matter how much you don't want to be. If you die, you die. But there's a possibility that you'll live, too," he almost whispered the last part. He sounded like he was in so much pain that I left Clarke's side and immediately went back to his. Our eyes met. "If you were to stay here, you'll definitely die, Octavia. You won't even have a chance. I can't let you just-" he broke off, and I hugged him. I understood. He couldn't bear the thought of my death any more than I could bear the thought of his.

Another thought struck me.

"But Bellamy...You're not one of the Condemned!" I realized with a jolt. He would be staying here. I would be sent down to Earth and into who only knows what, and he would be...here. On the dying Ark. "I can't leave you! I can't!" I said, and I buried my face in his shirt. The thought of being hundreds of thousands of miles away from him was a horrible one. At least now, even though I couldn't see him, I knew he was near.

"Octavia..." he breathed, and he squeezed me close to him. Then he whispered in my ear, too quiet for the others to hear, "I'm _always_ going to protect you, O. You jump, I jump."

And suddenly, Earth didn't seem so bad.

* * *

When Bellamy and Clarke's mother left, Clarke and I sat for a while, not talking. There was a lot to take in.

"I can't believe we're going to Earth," I was the one that broke the silence.

"I can't, either," was her reply. "I can't imagine what they're thinking."

"You know exactly what they're thinking, Clarke. Don't lie," I said, as I stood up and crossed the room to her bed pallet. I sat cross legged in front of her, and she pulled herself to a sitting position to face me.

"It's just so reckless!" she exclaimed, and threw her hands in the air. "There's like an eighty-five percent chance the stupid shuttle will burn up reentering the atmosphere. Not to mention all the supplies they're going to have to give us to survive. And don't even get me started on what they're going to do when they _really_ need an escape shuttle. What happens if there's an actual, legitimate reason we have to evacuate the Ark? What'll they do then?" she was fuming and ranting.

"Well don't they have more than one escape shuttle?" I asked, not really understanding why she was so upset.

"Well of course they do. But think about it, Octavia," she said, and I could tell she was being patient with me when all she really wanted to do was freak out. I appreciated it. "We've been on the Ark for over three hundred years," she explained. "Back when the Ark first came to be, they had a population of maybe five hundred people. Nowadays, there's about twenty-five hundred. That's relatively low, what with the policies on reproduction," I rolled my eyes at that. Yeah, because those policies worked _so_ well. "Not to mention the almost non-stop Floatings. But still, there's no way that they can have enough shuttles for a full evacuation. No way," she finished.

Her logic made sense, and I certainly wasn't the one that would argue about the mechanics of the Ark. She obviously knew more about them than I did.

"So you're saying that if we make it to the surface and find out it is capable of sustaining life, a majority of the Ark is still going to die anyway?" I asked as the revelation hit me.

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

* * *

To say that there was commotion on the Ark was to put it lightly. The news that one hundred of the Condemned were being sent on a ship down to Earth had a deep effect on the citizens of the Ark. First, all of the Condemned were under the age of eighteen. That meant that most of us were someone's only child, and we were loved. The people refused to let us leave without some hope that we would survive. It was strange because they knew we were going to get Floated for being Condemned, but apparently being sent to Earth was a different story.

This meant that there had been a mass donation of supplies for our cause. The more wealthy citizens of Phoenix donated a small amount of medicine of all kinds. Antibiotics, surgical equipment, sterilized bandages. It was a very generous donation, as medicine was something that was strictly controlled and coveted. I knew Clarke felt better about going down because of it. I also felt like she was the main reason we were getting those supplies in the first place.

Citizens from Wells had supplied us with tents, enough so that we could have two people to every tent. They also supplied us with tools we could use when we got down there. Knives, machetes, saws, hammers, screwdrivers, nails, screws. Things I had never even heard of before seeing them. Still, I knew that these tools would come in handy building a permanent structure. Not that I had the slightest idea how one would go about doing that.

Arcadia provided us with food. It wasn't as much as the other districts, mostly because once we were down there there would be no way to keep things fresh. They gave us supplement powder that would at least keep us going, even if it wasn't the tastiest thing to eat. Water purifiers were another supply they gave us, and they were invaluable. We would need water more than anything down there.

That is, if we didn't die entering the atmosphere. That is, if we survived entering the atmosphere and then didn't die the moment we opened the door and breathed in toxic fumes.

The second effect the news of the one hundred had was the surge of children deliberately breaking the law to become Condemned. The list of the 100 had not yet been completed, and most people seemed to be of the belief that our trip to earth would be just peachy. They wanted to get in on the action.

It was ridiculous.

The Ark was not prepared to handle the sudden influx of juvenile delinquents that were steadily pouring in. Where Clarke and I were once a special case, people were now being tossed in two or three people to one cell. Their cells were smaller and less luxurious than ours, which led to unhappy prisoners. I could hear yelling and the slamming around of items all the way down the hallway where we were housed.

It spelled for some sleepless nights, like this one. Clarke and I were laying together and neither of us were talking. I didn't know if she was sleeping, because I was on my side, and she was behind me with her arm around my waist. Clarke told me it was called 'spooning', and it was her favorite position to sleep in.

"Clarke," I said, shaking my shoulder slightly. "Are you sleeping?" I asked her.

She groaned, rolling so she was on her back. "Not anymore," she grumbled. "What is it, Octavia?"

"Why are they doing this?" I asked. "I mean, all the kids breaking the law. They must know that it's not likely they'll be picked."

"I don't know," she said, and I could hear how tired she was from her voice. "Most of them are willing to die for the chance to live, I guess."

"More like willing to die for the chance of having a chance to live," I said, and I could tell my voice was petulant. The idea of being shipped down to earth was eating at my mind like a virus. On one hand, I was terrified. The earth was such an unknown place. It was a symbol which we circled around, and it was a beautiful reminder of all that we had lost. Humanity had taken its Mother Earth for granted, and she had banished them from her graces. Even I, having grown up as sheltered and isolated as I was, had known that.

On the other hand, I couldn't help but remember Bellamy's face when he had told me I was being sent to earth. He had looked hopeful. I could only imagine he was privy to information that I was not. If Bellamy had reason to believe that going to earth was not a curse but a blessing, could I have the same hope without the reasoning?

If you had asked me before the night of the viewing party, I would have said yes. No question would have been asked. I had put absolute trust in Bellamy. He had been the sun I revolved around, my one true constant, and I never had thought he would lead me astray.

But he had. In that moment when the lights had turned on and the music had stopped and my eyes had met his, my eyes had been opened to a truth. Bellamy wasn't infallible. He was human, and humans made mistakes.

So while I might have entertained a slight, infinitesimal hope that we would survive, I wasn't allowing myself to seriously consider the possibility. Hope for the best and expect the worst, you might say.

Clarke propped herself onto her elbow to look at me. Our faces were close, and I could feel her warm breath on my face. She looked at me, and for a moment I felt like her eyes were trying to invade my mind. In that moment, I wanted to tell her about what Bellamy had said to me. That he would be coming to Earth with the hundred. Her blue eyes were intense, and as I looked I noticed specks of yellow and brown in them, near the pupil.

"You're keeping secrets from me, aren't you, Octavia?" she had almost whispered.

For some strange reason, her words caused my body to react in curious ways. Guilt and adrenaline flooded my system, and I suddenly felt cold. I wanted so badly to tell her, but I just couldn't. It wasn't my secret to tell, and I didn't want to do anything to endanger Bellamy's activities. The way he had whispered in my ear to make sure Clarke and her mother wouldn't hear led me to believe his means of getting on the shuttle weren't exactly legal. My secret whispered on the back of my lips, but I swallowed it down.

"Just one," I had whispered back, and I suddenly felt small.

"Don't you want to tell me?" she asked, and for some reason her eyes hardened. Her voice was cold.

"I want to, but I can't," I told her, my voice strong despite her sudden change in demeanor. "Some secrets are deadly."

Her eyes softened at my words, and a small smile graced her lips. "Indeed, some are," she said, and the way she said it made it seem like I had passed some sort of test. "Some things are better left unsaid."

I smiled, and warmth returned to my fingertips. "Exactly."

She didn't say anything else, but I felt a sudden shift in the air around us. She continued to look at me. I felt the weight of her gaze on my face, fluttering over my forehead, down to my eyes and then nose, and the come to rest on my lips. I continued to hold her stare, but I felt heat rising to my cheeks. I wasn't used to her observing me so closely. Her eyes traveled back to mine, and in them was a new intensity.

"Octavia?" she asked, breaking the heavy silence.

"Y-yes?" I prompted, and for some reason I felt nervous.

"What would you say if I said I wanted to kiss you right now?"

"Kiss me?!" I nearly choked. I pulled back from her slightly. Not a lot, but enough so that I couldn't see the freckles in her eyes.

My reaction didn't seem to put her off. On the contrary, she seemed slightly amused. She leaned away from me, just a little bit, respecting my personal space. "Yes, kiss you," she said, and her voice was soft.

I was speechless. My mind could only form one question, "Why in the universe would you want to kiss me?"

Clarke let out a quiet giggle and she leaned forward slightly, but she made no serious attempted to get closer. Instead, she tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "It's like this, Octavia," she started, and her voice was different than normal. I felt a small tingle of the warm feeling I had felt at the viewing party with Jasper start in my stomach. "I've told you about some of the guys I've been with, but I like girls sometimes, too."

I listened to her words, a look of confusion on my face. I had known that Clarke wasn't a virgin and had been with guys before, but I had never imagined that she had been with other women. The thought of a woman and a woman being together was a completely new concept to me.

"You're very beautiful, Octavia," she whispered to me, and I felt the weight of her intense gaze on me in a completely new way. "And you've never been kissed before. I want you to know what its like."

I considered her words before saying anything. I let my eyes run over her face. She was quite beautiful too, I realized. Her blonde hair framed her face like a halo, and her eyes were enchanting. I let my gaze linger on her lips. They were a pale shade of pink, and they looked soft.

But Clarke was my friend. I knew how bodies reacted to kissing from medical books I had read in my youth. Kissing lead to the releases of dopamine and endorphins in the brain, and that could lead to a serious shift in our friendship. She was my first and only friend, and I didn't want to jeopardize that.

But then again, our Day of Reckoning crawled ever closer. I could easily die within the next month, so why shouldn't I kiss her? I wasn't sure if I was attracted to Clarke, and I had never before tonight realized she might have been to me, but what did I have to lose?

"You think I'm beautiful?" It felt silly to ask, but it was the only thing that came out of my mouth. My hands felt clammy.

Clarke raised an eyebrow, seemingly surprised that I didn't shut her down right away. She leaned in closer, and her hand cupped my cheek. "I think you're very beautiful, Octavia," she purred. Her hand that wasn't tracing my cheek with its fingertips lifted to my other shoulder, touching lightly against my skin. I shivered.

"Your skin looks like it was spun with stardust," her hand that had been on my cheek brushed another piece of hair behind my ear. It lingered on the sensitive skin of my neck, before following the arch of it onto my other shoulder. I felt another shiver crawl up my spine. Her voice took on a hypnotic quality and I found myself unable to look away from her. "Your eyes are the same color as the sea, but sometimes they burn. Sometimes I think you have the secrets of the cosmos hidden in them, spinning around in them for all those lucky enough to gaze into their depths."

My heart kicked into overdrive by her sudden closeness, and I felt like there was a slow burn spreading throughout my body starting from my face, down to my shoulders and then my chest. I had never felt my body react this way before, and confusion ate away at my mind.

"Your lips are such a sweet looking shade of pink. They're full and plump, and they look like they'd taste of sweetness if I could only just have a taste-"

"Clarke I...I don't know what to think," I finally managed, interrupting her, and I pulled away. Without her touch I could think much more clearly. "I don't know if I feel-I mean of course I care about you, but I don't know if we should..." the words out of my lips felt wrong, because my body was singing to me to just let her kiss me. Clarke had suddenly turned into an unknown, something that held a promise to give me a taste of what others knew of pleasure. I knew my mother had tasted some of its secrets and had enjoyed it. I knew Bellamy had enjoyed some of its sweet fruit, too. He had never spoke of it to me, but he had sometimes come home smelling different. There had been hints of a sweeter smell to him, and it had definitely been feminine in nature. I had never said anything about it. There were things I just didn't want to know.

But Clarke was also a safe harbor for me. She wasn't my blood, but my friend. Sure, we might have been thrown together by random circumstances, but it had turned into more than that. I treasured the simple relationship we had more than she probably understood, and I didn't know if crossing the line with non-platonic behavior would change it.

"Octavia, relax," Clarke said, and her voice lost the seductive quality that had been there only moments prior. "Just breathe," and I listened to her. I drew in a large breath, and exhaled shakily.

"You're thinking too much into this," she said reassuringly. "I know that you don't look at me the way I look at you. Trust me, I've been sleeping in the same bed as you every night for the last six months," she said the last part with a hint of humor. I laughed shakily at that. I tried to look at those nights I had spent nestled against the older girl's slender frame in the same light I had before, but it was suddenly difficult. I questioned every touch her and I had shared. Had it been more to her than it had been to me?

"I'm still going to be your friend first, Octavia. It can just be one kiss, and I'll be fine with that. Or it can be no kiss, and that's okay too," she said with a smile. She reached out to touch my cheek again and I pushed down the small part of me that wanted to shy away from her touch. "Or I can kiss you and you might like it. You might even ask for more than one," she breathed, and her eyes traveled to my lips again. They suddenly felt very dry, and I flicked my tongue out to moisten them nervously.

Her eyes scorched me, and I heard a small noise escape from her mouth. Her eyes snapped back to mine. "Well, what do you say, Octavia?"

I felt like I had the night of the viewing party. My eyes brightened to the air around me, and it was charged with our emotions. I could see Clarke's desire for me swirling around us in a heady haze, and I could see my own, mixed in with nervousness and reservation.

"Just one kiss?" I asked for reassurance. My words caused her to give me a victorious smile, and she nodded.

"Just one kiss..." she agreed, and then she descended upon me. Her eyes held mine as she slowly closed the distance between us, as if giving me one last chance to change my mind.

I held all of my fear and confusion back as I watched her intently. Her eyes were still open when her lips finally reached mine, and they were softer than I had imagined.

Clarke faltered for a moment when we finally touched, and another small noise escaped from the back of her throat. It caused another wave of warmth to wash over me. Her eyes fluttered and closed, and she moved her lips against mine just a little bit more feverishly.

At first, I could only yield to her movements, accepting her motions with willing, but stiff lips. Her kissing me was a foreign feeling, and I allowed it to flow through me. Her lips tasted sweet, and her breath was hot on my skin. Her hands skimmed over my neck and down my arms. I felt surrounded in her.

The slow burn that had been enveloping my body since the beginning of our conversation surged and made my body hum pleasantly. My lips began to move against hers of their own accord, and Clarke responded with another small sound. It caused pleasure to tendril down into my stomach.

I felt Clarke's tongue glide against my bottom lip, smooth and wet, and I gasped. She took my moment of surprise to slide her hot tongue past my lips and I let out an involuntary groan of pleasure. Her tongue was even sweeter than her lips had been, and it danced around mine with soft, gentle strokes. My eyes fluttered closed for the first time, and I let my body take over the control my mind normally reigned.

My surrender to the kiss was felt by Clarke, and her intensity increased. Her hands roamed my body with gentle touches and squeezes, and it hummed in response. Her hands studiously avoided certain areas, but the location of them didn't matter. When her soft fingertips slipped under the material of my shirt to touch the bare skin of my stomach, I gasped at the fire that erupted inside of me. There was a spasm of desire that shot through me, and I felt a nagging feeling of need blossom in between my legs. I didn't know exactly what I ached for, but I burned at the lack of it. It was so strong that I felt the strong need to escape it.

I pulled away from Clarke, breathless and shaken. My lips tingled at the loss of hers, and I raised my fingertips to them in wonder. I looked at her as she opened her eyes and stared back at me. Her gaze was darker with need, and her breathing had increased in its speed. She looked like she was holding herself back from kissing me again.

"Wow.." was all that escaped my lips. It was a mediocre response for the situation at hand, but it was all my scrambled brain could come up with.

"Wow, indeed," came a purred response, and I felt a blush spread to my cheeks. I watched as she licked her lips, as if she could still taste me there. I shivered in response.

"Do you still want to kiss me?" I asked her, unable to escape the doubt that it hadn't been the same for her as it had been for me. She had kissed plenty of other people, apparently both men and women. I wouldn't have been surprised if I had been a rather incompetent kissing partner.

"Are you kidding?" she asked, and she let out a strangled laugh. She flopped onto her back, and she let out a sigh.

"What is it?" I asked, and I moved closer to her side. "Was it bad?"

She almost growled. "Its taking everything I have not to jump on you right now, Octavia." I looked at her face and saw her harsh honesty shine through. It made me feel desirable, something I had never felt before. I felt powerful.

I felt alive.

She picked up on my shift in demeanor. She propped herself back onto her elbow and grinned at me. "Do you still want me to kiss you?" she asked me devilishly.

Her grin was infectious. I felt like I was dancing on the line of danger, but I suddenly couldn't find it in me to care. "Maybe," I admitted quietly.

Her face softened again and she laid back down on her back. She beckoned my with her hand, "Come here," she invited me.

We kissed again in the darkness.

* * *

My relationship with Clarke evolved, but the basis was the same. During the day, we talked and sketched, as we always had. We ate our meals together and joked and laughed. But there was an undertone that hadn't been there before. When I would walk across the room, I would feel her eyes following my form. It seemed like we brushed skin more often than we used to.

We had kissed for hours that night. Her hands had touched almost every inch of my skin, and mine had become brave enough to explore some of hers. The only communication we had had been a series of breathy moans and needful murmurs. We did nothing more than kiss and touch, and it had been relatively innocent.

The next morning, there had been an unspoken understanding between us. Clarke knew that she had awoken some new sense in me that I had never known before, and I knew that Clarke wanted me as more than a friend. It was a delicate line we danced, acknowledging each other's feelings but never speaking of them.

On my part, I couldn't bring myself to regret our interaction. Her lips had been a sweet treasure and had opened me to new feelings I had never allowed myself to imagine. But I knew that the line we crossed could was a line that could only be crossed once and be taken back. She knew this too, and I could tell because she never suggested we kiss again.

Other than the slight undertone that existed between us since that night, our friendship stayed the same. The night of our departure to earth drew ever closer, and Clarke seemed to take on a hopeful approach to the situation. To her, we would either live or die, but it held the promise of a future. It was better than having nothing else to look forward to other than the endless stretch of the universe that was set to be our graves.

The night before our departure came deliveries of supplies to our room. New clothes were given to us, heavy pants and shirts, with warm jackets and weather-resistant boots. Clarke had been given a bag with some essentials, and also some everyday healing materials. It was obvious that she would be playing the part of healer once we got down there. I was given a bag of similar items, minus the medicine.

We took our last shower on the Ark, and laid on our bed pallet for the last night of sleep on the Ark. We clung together in the darkness, and I worried that it was the last time we ever would. I laid my head on her chest and listened to the rhythmic beating of her heart.

"So tomorrow's the day," Clarke said, addressing the elephant in the room.

"Sure is," I agreed. I bit my lip as my nervousness bubbled in my stomach. "Do you think we're gonna die?"

"I sure hope not," she said lightly. "I have this vision of sunlight filtering through your hair, and it would be a shame if I didn't get to see it."

I felt heat rise to my face, and I was glad for my head's current positioning on her chest. She had taken to saying little suggestive things like that recently, and I couldn't help but feel a little flutter of happiness when she did.

"Clarke," I chided, swatting her stomach lightly. "I'm being serious."

"What? You think I'm not?" she asked, in mock offense. "No, but really," she continued, "I don't think we're going to die," she told me. "It would be too anticlimactic."

"Hmm.." I murmured. "If you say so," I wasn't convinced.

"Hey you know, if you think we might die tomorrow, tonight is your last chance," she said.

I looked up at her, confused. "Last chance for what?" I asked.

"You know," she said tiltingly. "Tonight's the last night to have your wicked way with me," I could tell she was teasing, but I could also hear the undertone of seriousness. "You already gave me your first kiss. I'd hate to see you go down in flames knowing you're still a virgin."

I swatted her stomach again lightly. "In your dreams, Clarke Griffin," I said, and she laughed.

"Tell me something I don't know, Octavia Blake."

* * *

The next morning, we were escorted from our cell by four guards. There was a heavy silence between us, and my stomach was in knots. I held Clarke's hand in my clammy one. She squeezed my hand reassuringly.

We were escorted to a loading dock and instructed to stay there. While we waited, we watched as other teens began to get escorted in, steaming in in a steady line. There were faces that ranged from childlike to almost adult. Most of them looked excited, but a lot of them were faces of fear.

Once we were all loaded inside, the noise in the room reached an almost ear-splitting volume. Clarke and I seemed to be one of the only ones not talking. I looked over to her, and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Do you know any of these people?" I asked her.

"Unfortunately, yes," she whispered back. "A lot of these people are serious criminals."

A foreboding sense tickled at my spine, and I was about to ask her to point out these supposed criminals when I felt her stiffen next to me and her hand tighten around mine. Her eyes were trained on the entrance, and I followed her gaze.

A black man entered the room, and he had an air of authority that I could detect all the way from where I stood. As soon as he entered, a hushed silence fell over the room.

"Who is that?" I asked Clarke, noticing how pale she had gotten.

"That's Chancellor Jaha," she informed me.

I fell silent as I watched him walk across the length of the room. He stopped in front of us, and his arms crossed behind him. He looked at us a moment before addressing us.

"Today marks an important turn in the history of mankind," he addressed us. His voice was deep, and had a ring of power in it. "Today, you one hundred will mark the beginning of man's return to Earth."

His words reverberated around us, and I heard Clarke's disgusted huff from beside me.

"I understand that there is fear in your hearts, my young one hundred. There is plenty that remains unknown to us. The citizens of the Ark are indebted to you for your sacrifice for the cause. If it is found that the earth is sustainable, you will all be rewarded for your valor. All those who stand before me today as Condemned will be given a clean slate of freedom, and another chance of life."

He paused, and he turned his head to observe all of us. "You have but one responsibility; stay alive."

"Yeah, because that doesn't sound ominous at all," I whispered to Clarke, and I was satisfied that she cracked a small smile. "Someone really needs to teach Chancellor boy how to give a pep talk." She laughed.

He began his exit, when a door opened to the other side of the room. It was the entrance to the escape shuttle. Guards began to file people inside in groups, returning to collect more when they had properly harnessed in the previous group.

My eyes scanned the crowd, looking desperately for Bellamy. I couldn't find him.

A terrible thought entered my mind. _What if he had lied to me about coming, to spare me the heartache in the days before my departure_? The thought wounded me. I didn't want to believe it, but it seemed like something Bellamy would do.

My despair continued to rise as the guards escorted Clarke and I as well as several other people into the escape shuttle. They led us to a row of seats, which we sat in before they started to complete our harnessing. Tight strips of material held my torso and legs in place. I felt trapped, and slightly panicked as I looked over at Clarke. She attempted to smile reassuringly, but it came off as more of a grimace.

I watched the entrance to the shuttle with rapt attention, waiting for Bellamy's entrance. Just when I was about to give up all hope of his arrival, I saw him. He entered the shuttle just after the guards had brought in another group in. He was deathly pale, and he moved quickly out of my line of sight to an area that wasn't where we were being loaded. My stomach immediately settled a significant amount knowing he was on board, but I wished I could talk to him. I knew it was very possible I'd never see him again.

The guards began to address us, explaining the safety procedures and explaining what our departure would entail. Apparently, we were not to be alarmed if there was some heavy turbulence.

Oh, boy.

The guards exited then, telling us we would be taking off in about ten minutes. They sealed the door for the final time. I fretted over Bellamy. I did not know where he was, and I worried he would be injured if not properly harnessed in when we entered the atmosphere.

Luckily, once the guards were out of sight and we were able to hear the engines starting up, my eyes detected Bellamy again. He made his way slowly across the edge of the room, before taking a seat that was suspiciously empty at the end of a row quite a distance away from mine. None of the people around him seemed to notice his arrival, and if they did, they didn't give any sign.

Satisfied that my brother was aboard, I reached out to grab Clarke's hand. "Hey Clarke?" I asked.

"What's up, Octavia? Don't tell me you're getting cold feet," she joked, but I could detect a faint sheen of sweat on her face. She was just as nervous as I was.

"Well yes, but that's besides the point," I laughed, surprised that I still had to ability to do so when our minutes on the Ark were rapidly coming to a close. "I just wanted to say that no matter what happens, I'm so glad you came into my life," I said seriously. "Even though we both had to be sentenced to death for it to happen."

"Aww, Octavia, you set my heart aflutter," she said, pretending to swoon, but she smiled and squeezed my hand. "This isn't the end, Octavia. I'm gonna live to see the sun in your hair, and nothing's gonna be able to stop me."

We were silent after that. A voice came over the speakers in the room as we began our countdown sequence.

_60_.

I squeezed Clarke's hand even tighter. I had once thought about how horrible it would be to not be able to hold Clarke's hand in her last moments, and now that I was given a chance to do just that.

_50_.

My heart pounded in my chest wildly. Less than a minute separated us from the unknown. I was terrified.

_40_.

My eyes swiveled back to Bellamy. As I had been talking to Clarke, he must have found my position because he was staring back at me.

_30_.

I felt myself smile at him, and he returned the gesture. I felt safe knowing he was here. For some reason, I felt that because of his presence, we would be alright. All of us would be okay because the only other option was to die. And Bellamy could not die.

_20_.

He mouthed something to me. I couldn't hear his words, but I read his lips. _You jump, I jump_.

_10._

_9._

_8._

_7._

_6._

_5._

_4._

_3._

_2._

_1._

I was jostled against my harness violently, and I knew that we had detached from the Ark and were currently floating through space. The engine hummed loudly as we began our descent.

I squeezed Clarke's hand even tighter. If I had room to worry about anything else, I would have worried I might be causing damage to her hand. But as it was, I only squeezed harder.

I felt another harsh jostle, and suddenly the inside of the shuttle felt hotter.

"We're re-entering the atmosphere," Clarke whispered, and I didn't know whether she said it to me or if she was saying it for herself.

I could feel as the speed of our descent increased. I was constantly being thrown against my harness as our shuttle shook roughly. I heard a scream erupted from somewhere in the room, and it was a horrified sound.

I prayed that we would reach the ground quickly. Clarke's announcement seemed like it had been years ago.

Just as the thought crossed my mind, I was pulled harshly in the opposite direction. A cry escaped my lips, and I could feel that if I survived, I would have terrible bruising from the harness.

"Its just the parachute, Octavia," Clarke said reassuringly, but I could hear pain in her voice as well.

And suddenly, we came to a crushing stop. I could feel as we slid across the surface, before stilling.

No one moved. I think everyone was in shock that we had survived the trip. I know I sure was.

I began to undo my harness with trembling fingers. The need to be free of it was overwhelming. As soon as I managed, I stood. My legs felt shaky.

It didn't matter though. I ran over to where Bellamy was seated and arrived just as he freed himself from his own harness. I jumped into his arms as soon as he stood.

"I didn't think you were going to make it," I whispered into his neck as his arms wrapped around my waist.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he replied, and then laughed. "Get it? Wouldn't miss it for the _world_?"

I rolled my eyes at his attempt of humor. "Yes, Bell, I get it. Har-har."

The people around us seemed to be getting out of their harnesses at about the same pace. No one really talked, but there was a quiet murmuring among them. No one seemed to want to go towards the door.

Now that we were successfully on the ground, I was drawn to the door like a magnet. I gravitated towards it when I heard Bellamy's voice cut through the almost-silence.

"Listen up, everyone," he said loudly, and everyone that had been talking suddenly came to a stop. "Is everyone okay?" he called out.

"I think this guy is dead," someone called. I looked over to the direction the voice came from, and I saw someone still sitting in their seat, harnessed in. His eyes were wide and vacant, and two drips of blood came from his nose.

He was dead. I shuddered.

"This guy, too," another voice called.

We'd been on earth for a total of two minutes and already two of us were dead. That was encouraging.

"Alright, everybody," Bellamy's voice called again. "We'll collect the bodies later. For now, we've got to open the door."

Murmurs broke out again, and this time I detected fear. None of us knew what we were opening the door to.

Everyone began to crowd in front of the door, but remained well behind from where I stood, only inches from it. Whatever was on the other side of the door, I would face it willingly.

I saw Bellamy's figure in my peripheral, and he raised his arm to something. I looked, and saw it was a lever. He pulled it.

There was a hiss from the sudden decompression, and the door slid up quickly. Light streamed in, and I was momentarily blinded from the intensity of it. I felt something wash over my face and a sweet scent hit my nose. After a moment of this, I realized what it was. _A breeze. _

My eyes adjusted to the light, and I realized we were surrounded by trees. Sound reached my ears, a light chirping that I had never heard before. _Birds_, I realized.

I took a deep breathe and let the fresh, sweet air fill my lungs for a moment. And then I did something that no other human had done for three hundred years.

I took a step onto the earth.

* * *

**Annnnnd we've arrived! Now things are going to really get interesting. Haha. Also, I have a question. ****Do you guys prefer longer or shorter chapters? **

**Thanks for reading! As always, please review! I'm anxiously awaiting your opinions! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry that this post took so long to get up! My girlfriend had off for Memorial Day Weekend, and it is impossible to get any writing done when she's home! She talks constantly. Literally. She goes on and on and on...you get the picture. She's lucky I love her.**

**Anyways. I'm not too happy with how this chapter ended up, but it was a transitional chapter that needed to get put out there. I took some liberties with the whole river scene, mostly because I _hate_ writing a damsel-in-distress. It's not my thing, and that means it's not Octavia's thing either. Sorry, not sorry.**

**That being said, I hope you like it! Please continue letting me know what you think. Thank you to all the people that have this story alerted or favorited, and I hope you're enjoying. Extra special thank you to all the people that reviewed! You guys are amazing and the reason I keep writing. xoxox**

**That being said, lets get onto...**

**Standard Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to CW and Kass Morgan, respectively. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

I had spent years and years imagining what earth would be like. There were countless hours spent under the floor where I tried to picture the way the sun would look from Earth's perspective. The gentle glistening of light that would filter down onto one's skin from the heavens. The sudden, all consuming light that would fill one's senses.

My wildest day dreams couldn't have prepared me for what Earth was really like. Granted, I had only been here for five minutes. But _wow_, what a five minutes.

My feet touched the ground with a dull _thump_. It was surreal, taking that first step. Part of me still expected the land to open up and swallow me whole. It didn't. On the contrary, I felt a sudden wave of groundedness and security that I never had had before. My eyes looked around in wonder.

It was so _open_. I had never seen much of the Ark, but I had seen enough to know that it consisted of hard metallic surfaces and harsh, unforgiving angles. The only true beauty that we had had on the Ark was the heavens we had been immersed in, and it was as deadly as it was beautiful.

I didn't for one second believe that the earth wasn't dangerous, but it was tangible. I could feel the ground beneath my feet. I leaned down, and touched my fingertips to the green grass that resided there. It was soft and scratchy, and I could feel a wetness to it. The sunlight danced along my vision, touching everything my eyes could see and warming my skin.

It was magnificent. I felt like it was home. I let out a noise that was something between a yell and a glorious cry. Others joined in behind me, and suddenly the air was filled with our laughs and sounds of relief.

People began to pour out of the jump ship, and most of them looked the way I felt. Amazed, awed, and humbled. It was one thing to have known we were being shipped down here; it was another that we actually made it. After 300 years, Earth had decided to accept humanity back into its graces.

.

* * *

.

After the initial landing, many things happened in quick succession. Clarke stepped forward quickly and began figuring out how to set up camp. It was decided we would stay close to the jump ship, and clear off some of the trees near it.

Tents and gear were unloaded, and camp was in the beginning stages of creation. I wasn't surprised that Clarke had immediately become something akin to a leader; many of the 100 knew of her position on the Ark, and as such, followed her lead. There was a black kid that followed her around with wide eyes and soft words, and she responded with acidic language and harsh shrugs. I could only imagine that this kid was Wells. The betrayer of Clarke's secrets. I wonder what could have happened to get the Chancellor's kid sent down here.

I noticed that Clarke kept shooting suspicious looks at my brother. He seemed to notice as well, but chose to ignore it. He stayed close to my side. When Clarke asked me if I would go find kindling to start a fire, I readily agreed. Bellamy followed me down the trail.

"How did you get on the ship, Bell?" I asked, once we were out of earshot of the others. I knew it wouldn't be long before others noticed his presence, and people would know that he hadn't been Condemned. They would know that he didn't belong here. Like Clarke. I could only imagine that her silence for now was due to her relationship with me.

"Does it matter, O?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders. His avoidance of the question made me more suspicious. "I told you you weren't going anywhere without me, and I meant it. "

"Well yeah, it matters," I said incredulously. I scratched lightly at my wrist, where the metal monitoring bracelet we were given before leaving the Ark rubbed against my skin uncomfortably. "Why don't you want to tell me?"

He didn't answer me for a moment. Instead, he gathered some small sticks in his arms, looking around for more. Knowing that pushing Bellamy too much would only result in a blowout, I followed his lead and gathered some small, dry sticks in my arms.

"Its pretty bad," he said simply. He didn't sound ashamed of whatever it was, but he definitely sounded hesitant to tell me.

"Just tell me, Bellamy. You know I'll find out eventually. If its that bad, it'll be better coming from you."

"I shot the Chancellor, " he said suddenly. "I didn't see it, but he's dead by now. That's how I got onto the ship."

The firewood I had been gathering in my arms fell to the ground with a quiet sound. My eyes snapped to my brother's, and when I looked into them I saw a stranger. I remembered how deathly pale he had been when I saw him sneak aboard, and I suddenly realized why.

"You killed him?" I whispered, in shock.

Bellamy was suddenly in front of me, and he took my hands in his. "Octavia," he pleaded, "I had to. It was the only way." His hands were scorchingly hot compared to mine. I felt cold all over, and a sickness settled in my stomach.

"The only way to what?" He didn't answer me. "The only way to _what, _Bellamy?!" I repeated, and I felt my voice begin to rise with hysteria. "The only way you could be with me?" I asked, ripping my hands away from his and stepping away from him.

I saw his eyes darken, and I felt another chill up my spine. As I watched, I saw his face shift into a cruel mask of the brother I knew. He _smiled_.

"Exactly, sweet sister of mine," he said evenly, closing the space I had created between us quickly. "You don't understand, Octavia. When you were born, I made a vow. To you, to myself. I will _always_ protect you," he said, and I could hear the passion in his voice. Or was it obsession? "And I don't care what means I go about doing it."

"You would kill a man, Bellamy?" I asked quietly. "You'd become a murderer?"

"Yes," he said, and there was no hesitation in his voice. "I'd do it again, if I had to. I'd kill a hundred men if it meant I could keep you safe."

"Bellamy!" I was horrified. I knew that Bellamy was just as, if not more than, devoted to me as I was to him, but I had never imagined he'd be so cold.

"What's your problem, Octavia?" he demanded, and I could tell he was becoming angry. "The man I killed was responsible for the mandate that locked you up and killed mom. He was responsible for all of the fates of every single person on this earth. Even his own _son_. That's the man you're so torn up about, Octavia," he spat. He threw down the firewood that he had had tucked in the crook of his arm and spit in disgust.

"Bellamy, wait! I didn't-"

"Whatever, Octavia. I need to go cool off and you looking at me like I'm some sort of monster isn't gonna help," he growled. He turned away from me and stormed off towards the direction of camp.

I watched him go, and I felt my stomach roll unpleasantly. Nauseousness felt like it was going to overwhelm me, and I rushed to crouch by the roots of a nearby tree. My stomach heaved a few times and saliva rushed to my mouth, but luckily for me nothing came up. I exhaled a shaky breath, and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Ugh.." I groaned, and then I sat with my back against the solid bark of the tree. The conversation I had just had with my brother played in my ears on repeat. I had never thought my brother to be a murderer, and the way that he had so nonchalantly spoken of it shook me to my core. It didn't matter that the Chancellor was a murderer in his own right, all that mattered was that my brother was now one, too. And worse, he did it in _my_ name. As if I was a good enough reason to excuse murder.

There was another part, too. A small part of me that was filled with shame, not anger. That small part of me was glad that he had done it. It was like Bellamy had said, the Chancellor had the blood of so many on his hands. My mother. Clarke's father. Heaven knows how many others. He was responsible for sending us down here to our unknown fate.

His death had made it possible for my brother to come with me to this unknown, beautiful planet and breathe fresh air and feel the sunshine on my skin. Could I really be that upset by it? Should I be?

"I thought I might find you down here, mystical spirit," a voice filtered through my self reflection, and I looked up.

I saw the familiar face of the boy I had met what seemed like so many years ago looking down upon me. Jasper. He was smiling at me, and I was surprised at how happy and carefree his smile was. His pale skin reflected the sun nicely, and his green eyes looked at me like I was the best thing he had seen on earth so far.

"Jasper," I said in recognition. I felt a small smile appear on my face, but it felt wrong. I was still shaken by the confession Bellamy had given me.

"You remember me!" he said happily. "I didn't know if I would see you down here."

I pushed myself up to stand, and brushed some dirt off of my pants. "Are you kidding? I couldn't miss this party," I said, but I felt like my attempt at humor fell flat. "Its Octavia, by the way," I told him.

"Octavia..." he said, as if tasting the word. He didn't say anything for a moment, choosing to simply look at me. I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, and then ducked to his side and began picking up the kindling I had dropped earlier.

"What got you sent down here in the first place?" I asked as I retrieved my burden. I couldn't help but wonder what had gotten him thrown in with the Condemned.

"I stole some supplies," he explained. "I wanted to get caught. I figured an engineer could be a useful talent on Earth."

I felt an inkling of annoyance at his flippant attitude, "You got caught on purpose," I repeated dully. "That's got to be just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

He coughed, and I knew that if I looked at him I would see that his face would be red from embarrassment. "Well I also hoped that...I mean," he faltered on his words and I felt a little bit bad about being so harsh. It wasn't Jasper I was mad at, not really. "I mean I was also kind of hoping that you would be sent down here, too. I wanted to be able to see you again," he explained.

Never mind. I didn't feel the least bit bad for him. "Are you serious?" I asked, looking at him through narrowed eyes. Was he being for real? He had met me once! For ten minutes! And I was part of his reasoning to get caught and sent to Earth on a possible suicide shuttle?

"Listen, I know it seems silly but I haven't stopped thinking of you since that night. You were just so...different than anyone I've ever met," he said, but I raised my hand to stop him.

"No, _you_ listen," I said. He looked at me, and his smile was lost to a solemn expression. "It's great that you were chosen to come down to earth. Its awesome. But let me get one thing straight with you. If you decide you ever want to do something stupid again, keep _my_ name out of your head. I got enough going on and I don't need some kid's death on my conscious. Got it?" With that, I took the firewood in my arms and headed back to camp.

I deposited the kindle by the pit that was being constructed for our fire. I looked around the camp, scanning the area for my brother or Clarke. I saw neither, and decided to venture back into the jump ship.

I was greeted by a bunch of hustle. People were steadily coming in and out, hauling supplies. I spotted Clarke in the far corner, messing with what looked to be some sort of radio. I approached her.

"Calling Ark Station," I heard her say, and noticed her talking into a small device. "Calling Ark Station. This is the 100, calling from the ground. I repeat, calling Ark Station."

"No response?" I asked, and she jumped in surprise. She looked over her shoulder at me.

"None. Radio silence," she told me. She was frowning.

"Are you sure you have the right channel?" I asked her.

"Of course she does," another voice came from beside us. I looked, and saw a man a little shorter than me. He had similar features to Commander Shumway, with yellowish skin and small, slanted eyes. He was more attractive than the Commander had been. "I set the station channel myself. If she's not getting through, its more likely that there's interference of some other kind blocking our signal."

I raised my eyebrows. He sounded very confident of his tech prowess. "And you are?" I asked.

"Monty Green, at your service," he said, tipping his imaginary hat to me.

"Octavia," I told him.

He smiled, "Good to meet you. If you have any tech thingamabobs that needs fixing, I'm the guy that'll complete your circuit."

I looked at him with a blank expression, not understanding what he was talking about. I opened my mouth to reply, but Clarke cut me off.

"Any circuits she needs completing aren't going to be done by you, Monty," she said, and there was a harshness to her tone that I didn't understand. "Go do something useful and try to find something that'll negate the interference."

The man name Monty laughed, "Alright Clarke, I'll see what I can do," he said, as he walked over to the latter that led up to the hatch for the second floor.

Clarke rolled her eyes before looking at me. "What's the matter, Octavia? You don't look too well," she observed.

Again, I briefly entertained the idea of telling Clarke my secret. I decided against it. It would come out sooner or later, and I wasn't finished processing how I felt about my brother killing for me.

"I found something out that doesn't sit well with me," I admitted. She looked like she was going to say something, but I continued. "I'll tell you all about it later. I just-can't right now. Please," I appealed to her.

"Alright," she agreed, but I could tell that she wanted to press for details. I appreciated her restraint.

"Great," I said brightly. "Can we go explore or something?" I asked. "We can go look for a source of fresh water."

Clarke grinned at my enthusiasm. "I suppose we might be able to do that. Let me go get a group together."

.

* * *

.

The group ended up consisting of Clarke and I with four other individuals. She pointed them out to me as we geared up to go. There was Wells Jaha, whom I had been correct in guessing was the guy that followed Clarke around. There was a girl named Miranda Rhodes who had excelled in earth studies, particularly in identifying medicinal plants. To my dismay, Jasper had volunteered without hesitation to join us as well.

There was a man named Finn Collins who had also volunteered to join us. Clarke informed me that he had been a Space Walker before his Confinement, a particularly coveted career. Apparently he was locked away for doing one too many unauthorized Walks and using up too much oxygen. I noticed that his eyes followed Clarke almost as much as Wells' did.

"Did you know him?" I asked Clarke as I locked into place the belt that held various tools that could be used in the forest. They all looked like sharp, dangerous knives to me.

"No, I've never met him. He was from Wells and we didn't exactly run in the same circle," she told me. I watched as her eyes traveled over to the Space Walker in question. Their eyes met. "I've heard of him, though."

I felt an unfamiliar feeling in my stomach, and I frowned. It wasn't a pleasant one, and a hot seed of anger took root there. I swallowed quietly and glared in the direction of Finn. For some reason, I immediately disliked him.

"Why does that Jasper kid have to come?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.

"You know him?" Clarke asked, surprised.

"Yeah," I told her, shrugging. "I met him the night of the viewing party. Apparently he was one of those kids that got caught on purpose because he wanted to come to Earth," I rolled my eyes. "And then he said something about how he hoped I would be sent to earth too and we could see each other again. I call bullshit. Dude didn't even know my real name."

Clarke's eyebrows pulled together, looking over to where Jasper stood and then back to me. "You didn't tell me about him," she said, and for some reason it sounded like an accusation.

My eyes narrowed in response to her tone. "I forgot about him. There was plenty of other things that went down that night for me, in case you've forgotten."

Her face settled into a contrite expression, and she let out a little sigh. "You're right, I'm sorry," she said, and I felt my annoyance decrease. "Can't blame a girl for getting jealous. We haven't even been here a full day and some guy is already all moon eyed for you."

Her words struck me, and a sense of understanding clicked in my mind. Jealousy. Clarke was jealous of Jasper, and I was jealous of this Finn character.

Well, this could be problematic.

"Hey you guys, lets group over here," Clarke called for the others when I made no attempt to continue our conversation. They gathered around us. "Alright, we're gonna be looking for a source of freshwater. Stay close to the trail and don't wander off on your own. No one goes outside of shouting distance. Got it?" she asked, and all of us nodded. "Good. Wells, Jasper, Finn, you guys are going to keep an eye out for any predators out there. Miranda, Octavia and I will be looking around for anything that is edible or can be used medicinally on the way," she looked around at all of us. "We don't know what's waiting for us out there, so all of you keep your eyes _open_."

After making sure everyone knew the guidelines, we set off. There was a fairly decent trail that had been formed, mostly by animals, and we kept to it. I knew as I walked that I was supposed to keep my eyes on the ground, but I couldn't help but look up around me in wonder. The trees reached towards the sky, which was a striking blue and danced with sunlight. I wanted to climb them. It was marvelous to breathe in fresh air and hear the soft crunch of the ground beneath my feet.

We hadn't been walking far when Finn held his hand up to stop us.

"I hear something," he said quietly. There was a rustling of the bushes some distance away from us, and we all approached with caution. As we did, we were greeted by an unfamiliar sight.

There was a deer grazing in a small clearing. I knew it was a buck from the size of his antlers. We all fell into a hushed silence at the sight of it. It was the first creature we had seen since arrival, and it was a symbol to us that the earth was in fact sustainable.

Miranda stumbled over herself, and there was a _snap_ of a twig. The sound caused the deer to raise its head and face us. What we saw made us all gasp and step back.

Whereas the rest of the deer seemed perfectly normal, its head was seriously deformed. It had two faces, and part of the flesh was exposed to the air. Miranda cried out at the sight of it, and the noise caused it to flee away from us.

"Well that was disturbing," I grumbled. So much for some grand symbol. Stupid deer.

Jasper laughed a little too loudly at my statement, and I saw Clarke look at him balefully. "Let's keep going," she suggested, and she grabbed my hand in what I could only assume was some kind of display. For some reason my eyes flashed to Finn, and I couldn't help the small, satisfied smile that appeared on my lips. He met my gaze with his own, and I saw his eyebrows raise. He had a smirk of his own, and it angered me.

My attention was drawn back to Clarke, who was pulling on my hand. We continued back to the trail, and there was an uncomfortable silence around us.

"What made them send us down here?" Jasper suddenly asked. "I mean, after 300 years, what suddenly made them decide that now was the time?"

He seemed to be asking it to the air, and I saw Wells fidget uncomfortably. I remembered what Clarke had told me about his betrayal, and I wondered why he had volunteered to come. Clarke obviously couldn't stand him, which made me feel unpleasant emotions towards him. Then I remembered that his father was dead at the hand of my brother and stopped my silent assessment of him. Guilt ate at my stomach.

"The Ark is dying," Clarke announced, and I was surprised. I figured she'd keep that to herself. "The life support systems are failing. They'll run out of oxygen before the year is up."

Her admission was greeted by silence, and I knew that everyone was thinking of the loved ones they had left behind on the Ark. I felt thankful that the two people I cared the most about were with me.

A noise reached my ears, and I perked up. "Do you hear that?" I asked the group. It was a soft murmur, a gentle bubbling noise that I had never heard before.

"I think it might be a river," Wells spoke up for the first time. We continued towards the sound and Wells' suspicions were confirmed. There was thin body of water in front of us, and it moved along the way all the books had described a river would.

"Whoo-hoo!" Jasper called out, and he ran for the water.

"Wait! You don't even know how to swim!" I called, but he paid no attention as he continued towards the body of water. "It could be filled with radiation, Jasper! Damn it," I said the last part under my breath as he finally reached the water. He splashed around in the shallows, looking as happy and carefree as could be. A small part of me envied him.

"Come on in guys, the water is amazing!" He called, before ducking beneath the surface. When he came back up, he shook his hair out wildly.

The others were discussing whether or not to join him. They all looked excited at the concept of swimming, with the exception of Clarke and I. A nagging feeling ate at me.

"Guys, I don't know..." I said, despite the faces Miranda and Finn casted my way at my discouraging tone. "Its a river. That means it's got to be running off a larger body of water," I explained. "Who knows what kinda things are living in there? If we want to swim, we should find a pond or a spring or someth-" my speech cut off. I had been watching the river that Jasper was playing in, and I saw a large, dark spot slowly heading in Jasper's direction. "_Jasper_! Get out of the water!" I exclaimed. Everyone's eyes followed mine and they took on similar expressions.

"C'mon, Octavia. Don't worry so much! The water is just fi-" he was cut off by being suddenly pulled under water.

When asked later, I couldn't explain what had come over me. I reacted on pure instinct. Jasper might have been naive, even more so than myself, but he was a good kid. He was sweet. I couldn't just let him die in front of my eyes.

I ran towards the shore, ignoring the calls of protests behind me. I grabbed a large rock that rested on the beach, before making my way into the water. The coolness of the liquid filled my shoes and soaked my clothes as I made my way to the dark spot where Jasper had been taken under. There were bubbles on the surface and I could see the clear water becoming stained with red.

Suddenly Jasper resurfaced, and he let out a horrible sound that was a mix of a gasp for air and a pained cry. Behind him, I saw a beast rise out of the water and stalk towards him. It was a creature unlike any that I had ever seen in any books on animals. Its body was made of thousands of scales like a fish, but it was lifting its head out of the water like a snake. Its mouth was open, and was full of hundreds of sharp, terrifying teeth. Sharp looking fins fanned around its otherwise soft looking skull. It lunged for its weakened prey.

I let out a horrified cry as I threw myself at the beast, smashing the rock that I held in my hand into its head savagely. It knocked the creature's projectory off of Jasper, but now its attention was on me. I didn't let myself pause. I brought the rock down upon its head over and over, unsure if it was working.

The beast stilled and lowered itself back into the water, and felt arms pull me away from it. I looked up to see Clarke pulling me back to shore. Finn was doing the same for Jasper.

"Holy shit, Octavia!" she berated me once we were safely back on dry land. "What were you thinking?! You could've been killed!" she yelled as she shook my shoulders.

"That's what I was trying to tell you guys!" I exclaimed, defensive. "Don't yell at me. Why don't you yell at dim wit over there? I told him to get out of the water!"

"We need to get back to camp, guys," Finn interrupted what could have easily escalated into a heated argument. "This guy is hurting bad," he motioned to Jasper, who was leaning heavily on Finn. His pant leg was shredded, and I could see several cuts dripping with blood.

"Yeah, I need to get Octavia stitched up, too," Clarke agreed, and I was confused. I needed to get stitched up? "Lets hope the thing wasn't venomous because then you're both fucked. Idiots," she grumbled as she pulled me to my feet.

I looked down at myself, and detected what Clarke was talking about. The sleeve of my jacket was torn, and I could see a long, clean cut on my forearm. The beast must have gotten me at some point, but I hadn't been able to feel it with all the commotion. Now that I was aware, it stung uncomfortably.

We made our way back to camp in silence. The only sound was the pained cries that escaped Jasper. He leaned heavily on Finn as they walked. I was furious at him for being so careless, but I was glad that I was able to save him.

We approached the camp, and Clarke made for the jump ship immediately, with me in tow. Finn followed with Jasper. Clarke got both of us sitting down before she started giving out directions.

"Take your jacket off," she snapped at me, and I bristled at her tone. What was her _problem_? Still though, I listened to her as I peeled off my jacket, which was still wet enough that it stuck to my skin like glue. I cried out when the sleeve brushed against my cut painfully.

"Let me see," Clarke said in response to my cry. Her voice had softened, but I was still annoyed with her. I pulled my arm away.

"Fix him up first," I snapped, pointing at Jasper. He looked very pale and was shaking uncomfortably. "He got it worse than I did."

Clarke's mouth thinned into a small line, but she did as I asked. With a sharp, serrated knife, she cut Jasper's pants from the knee down. There was a series of cuts from where the monster fish had broken skin, and they were still oozing blood at an alarming rate. She applied pressure to the wound.

"What's going on here?!" came a familiar voice from the entrance of the jump ship. The sky was beginning to darken outside, but I could easily see his face. Bellamy. I felt my stomach tighten at the sight of him. His dark eyes flickered from from my face to my arm, and then over to Clarke, who was busy fixing up Jasper's shredded skin.

Clarke looked up when he entered the ship, and then over her shoulder at me. Our eyes met, and I could tell she was still upset with me. Anger shone in their blue depths.

Probably jealousy, too, now that I thought of it. After all, she had admitted to me earlier that she was and I went and risked my life to save Jasper.

I sighed. My head hurt. People were so complicated, and my arm was stinging uncomfortably. For a brief moment, I longed to be back in the room with Bellamy on the Ark. It passed quickly when my eyes went back to my brother's. Anger was radiating off of him.

"Why don't you ask your sister? She's the one with a hero complex," Clarke said harshly, as she turned away from me and back to Jasper's leg.

Bellamy crossed the distance between us quickly, coming to a stop in front of me. He grabbed my arm with surprisingly gentle fingers, observing the wound. It was a clean cut, and I suspected that I had gotten it from the sharp dorsal fins that had been on top of the beast's head. The blood was already coagulating in the wound, but it still stung. I let out a hiss when Bellamy's touch made the skin around the wound stretch painfully.

"What happened, O?" he asked me quietly. I could detect anger in his voice, but I could tell that most of it wasn't for me. His eyes were concerned.

I let myself forget about the conversation we had earlier today. It didn't matter what he had done, he was still my brother. I grinned when I replied.

"It was great, Bell," I told him excitedly. "We were all walking along the trail and we came to this river. Then genius over there," I motioned to Jasper, who was now getting some paste spread over his open cuts. I could hear the sizzling sound of the medicine working but to his credit, his noises of pain had quieted to nothing. He was observing my conversation with my brother closely. I could detect a hint of fear in his eyes at the sight of Bellamy, "decides its a great idea to go frolicking in the water. I'm sitting there trying to tell him its a bad idea when all of a sudden he's pulled under," I explained. Bellamy's eyes flashed over to Jasper and I swore I heard him growl.

I ignored him, continuing. "So then the next thing I know, I'm in the water with a rock in my hand, and all of a sudden this _beast_ rises out of the water. I swear, Bell, it had like a thousand teeth! Anyway, I take the rock and I beat it in the head until it stops trying to eat us and-well, the rest is history, I guess. Here we are." I felt proud of myself as I finished the tale. For the first time in my life, I hadn't been the one being protected. I had been the one doing the protecting, and it was a foreign feeling to me. Self reliance. It felt good.

Bellamy looked torn, "Octavia, you could have easily been hurt even worse-"

"But I wasn't! I'm fine, Bellamy," I cut him off with a huff. "Look, its just a little scratch. I'm just fine. I can take care of myself," I said, and I could hear the petulance in my voice.

"I'll give her that one," Clarke's voice came from my side. "She wielded that rock like a savage. I almost felt bad for the fish." She took my arm and began spreading a thin layer of the paste over the wound. It stung sharply and I let out a hiss of pain.

"Where were you when this happened?" Bellamy suddenly demanded of Clarke. "I told you to watch out for her."

"I was trying to, idiot," Clarke said scathingly. "I didn't expect her to run off and go after him."

Bellamy made to respond, but I interrupted him. "Wait, you guys talked about me?" I blurted. For some reason, the realization made me angry.

"Don't be stupid, Octavia. Of course we talked about you. She came to me before you guys even left," Bellamy scolded.

His words made my world turn red. I knew it was irrational but the fact that Clarke had gone to my brother to get permission for me simply _infuriated_ me. I glared at her, and ripped my arm away from her touch.

I stood, and Clarke protested. "Octavia, wait. I'm not done."

"I think you are," I responded. "And if you're not, why don't you and Bellamy conspire and figure out a way to hold me down, because I'm out of here," I told her as I ducked to the side of her and my brother.

Bellamy's arm reached out to grab me, which only served to infuriate me more. I brought my knee up to his groin and smiled in satisfaction at his groan of pain. I rushed out of the jump ship into the fresh air.

For a moment, I watched the people around camp. They were all working hard. Some were setting up tents, while others had begun making plans to build a permanent structure. Others were hacking away at the undergrowth at our feet.

I heard Clarke calling my name, and I took off. Today had been overwhelming, and I just needed a moment to myself. I ran only a short distance away from camp, still able to hear the soft murmur of voices in the distance. I certainly didn't want to get lost in the strange forest at night.

Trees surrounded me, and I looked desperately for one with low enough branches to climb. I found one, and I grabbed for it. It was awkward at first, but I managed to use my body to pull myself onto the branch. Once I had gotten myself into the tree, climbing came naturally. I ignored the pain in my arm, only stopping when I was a decent height from the ground.

I sat on a sturdy looking branch with my back to the bark of the tree. It was peaceful up here, even if it wasn't very high. I felt separate from the anger I had felt on the ground. I inhaled the fresh air deeply.

I didn't know how long I sat up there, but I watched as the sky changed from the reddish-purplish color of sunset to the inky black of night. The moon rose to take place of the sun, and I was awed by the way stars looked from earth. The sky was sprinkled with them, bright and unattainable.

Only not so unattainable, really. Those stars were where I had been born.

I heard a rustle in the leaves above me, and I snapped my head up to look. About a body length above me, a branch shook. I saw a movement, just a flash of color that shouldn't be there. I stood quietly, and was about to climb up to check it out when something else drew my attention. This time, it was from the ground.

"_OCTAVIA_!" came a cry, and I could tell it was Clarke's voice. She sounded upset, almost like she was crying. She passed under my tree, looking around her wildly but never looking up. "Octavia, where are you? I'm sorry, okay? Just come out!"

I began my descent slowly. Climbing down was much more of a challenge than climbing up, I discovered. I waited until she completely passed under my tree before I quietly lowered myself to the ground. I wanted to keep my spot in the tree a secret.

I was still angry at Clarke for going behind my back to my brother, but I understood why she did it. I had told her countless times during our Confinement together how protective Bellamy was of me, and most likely she had been trying to avoid a confrontation with him.

Despite my irrational annoyance, I couldn't just stay in hiding when she sounded so hysterical. I could only imagine what kind of terrible ideas were running through her head at my absence. I called out to her.

"Clarke."

She whipped her body around to the sound of my voice, and even in the darkness I could see relief flood her face. She ran towards me, throwing her arms around my shoulders.

"There you are!" she exclaimed. "I was so worried! What were you thinking, running off by yourself?" she demanded.

I felt a trickle of annoyance. "Are you just going to lecture me? I'm fine. I've been fine. I've been right here the whole time," I told her. I pulled away from her embrace and crossed my arms across my body.

Her face turned contrite, "I'm sorry," she said immediately. "I was just worried about you. You've been gone for hours. Bellamy took a group to go search the woods."

I felt my shoulders slump. I hadn't thought about how worried Bellamy would be at my departure. I hoped he would be okay in the woods.

"I'm fine," I repeated myself.

"Can we go back to the ship and will you let me fix you up? You still need stitches," she asked me, motioning to my arm.

I felt a small smile tug at my lips at her concern. "I guess," I agreed.

"Great!" she said brightly, and we began our return to camp. "Nice crotch-shot, by the way," she added lightly. "Bellamy was on the ground for a good five minutes after you left."

I cringed at the memory, "Ugh," I groaned, "Bellamy is going to be so pissed at me," I complained.

"You bet your cute little butt he will be," Clarke conceded with a laugh. "I'll make you a deal, though. Let's get you stitched up and then I'll hide you in the tent for the rest of the night from him. Deal?" she asked, extending her arm to me.

I felt another smile tug at my lips, and I accepted her outstretched arm.

"Deal," I said.

* * *

**Did you guys catch it? Do you even know what I'm talking about? Haha.**

**Next chapter will be up within the week, and I'm happy to say that Lincoln will make his first appearance! To all the people that review, I'll send you guys a sneak peak to the next chapter! I'm shameless, I know. Keep an eye out for the next chapter and please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **

**Exciting things are happening, guys. I'm having so much fun writing this story, you don't even understand. I have the next two chapters roughly drawn up and things are gonna get pretty intense here soon!**

**We've reached the point in the story where I will start to seriously redirect or even outright change canon events. This story is _very much _an AU. You will see this especially with the Grounders. COMPLETELY FORGET EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT GROUNDERS. Haha. Except the super hotness. I swear, Ricky Whittle and Dichen Lachman make me drool. Seriously, if that is what you look like after being stranded on a supposed radiation-soaked planet, then SIGN ME UP.**

**Anyways...**

**Akira91- I'm sorry you weren't able to get a sneak peak! You have been a very faithful reviewer and definitely deserved it. It was a good one, too, if I do say so myself. Haha. Next time I offer a sneak peak you can leave your email address in a review and I will send it to you that way, if you'd like.**

**Hope you guys enjoy the chapter! It's another long one, about 7,900 words...I keep telling myself to stop at about 5,000 but I just can't seem to help myself. Ugh. Haha. **

**Standard Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to CW and Kass Morgan, respectively. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

.

The plan didn't work out exactly the way Clarke and I had planned. When we finally arrived back to camp, Bellamy was already there. I thought he would be waiting for me, but he wasn't.

He stood in the flickering light of the fire, and the warm, orange glow contrasted with his eyes sharply. I could see them from where I stood. Next to him lay a large carcass of some animal. I could only assume they had caught it when they had gone out looking for me. Surrounding him was a group of rather shady looking people that had come down with us.

I didn't know what was happening, but I immediately knew it wouldn't be good.

As we approached, we heard Bellamy announce something to the group. "Anyone that wants a piece of this kill is welcomed to it," he called. He looked around the group with a serious expression. "The only requirement is that you have to remove your monitoring bracelets."

I gasped at his words. We had all been instructed as to the purpose of the bracelets. They would monitor our vital signs, and were our only connection with the Ark. If we took them off, they would think we were dead.

Clarke apparently was following my train of thought. She broke away from me and rushed over to the area where Bellamy stood. "Are you insane?!" she yelled. "We can't take the bracelets off! That's suicide!"

I made my way over to them, but I hung back. The two most important people in my life were staring off at each other, and I didn't know what to do.

"That's easy for you to say, Princess," Bellamy mocked. "You had a nice, cushy life up there. I'm sure you can't wait for all your big-shot friends to get down here," he then turned to address the group. Plenty of people had gathered, drawn by the sight of their supposed leader getting into an argument.

"Of course she wants us to wear the bracelets! Her's was a life of privilege. Once the people of the Ark realize that Earth is sustainable, they'll come down in droves. And then what about us?" he asked. He looked around the group as if he was expecting an answer. "I'll tell you! All of our crimes will be 'forgiven'. We'll be allowed a sham of freedom, and then thrown down to the bottom of society, just like we've always been. Is that what you want?" he bellowed.

There was a clear response of 'no' from the group. I felt goosebumps rise on my arms.

"I say we disregard them like they've disregarded us! They might have prettied up their words and stroked our egos about bringing in a new age of man, but don't let them deceive you. They sent us down here to die! Make no mistake. Right now they're probably staring at their computer screens, waiting for us to drop like flies. I say we give them what they want!" The crowd looked like it was beginning to sway to his words. There was a grumble of angry mutterings from them.

"That's impossible!" Clarke exclaimed. She looked out at the crowd of people. "We need the people on the Ark. They're our doctors and engineers! We need their technology. We need their medicine. We need their laws. Without them, we'll dissolve into chaos."

"What's wrong with a little chaos?" Bellamy interrupted her in a voice loud enough so the group could easily hear. They laughed and cheered lightly at his words. "Don't you understand, Princess? Down here, _there are no laws_! Why would we want to bring down the people that would bring the law with them?" he asked, and I saw Clarke shoot him a look of death. "What do you guys think? Do you want to bring down the people that locked us away? The people that murdered most of our mothers or our fathers? The people that tore our families apart? The people that could decide to kill us just as easily as they could award us?" he called, and then he smiled. To anyone else besides me, it would have looked like a genuine smile. But I knew better. I had seen Bellamy's true smile of joy, and this manufactured one was nothing like it. There was a hardness to his face, and one side of his mouth was raised higher than the other. He often smiled like that when he was trying to play a trick on me in my younger years.

"Or do you think we deserve better? Because I do! I think we deserve the right to shape our own futures. We deserve the right to make this place ours. They sent us down here to die, _but we didn't_. We've become inhabitants of the earth, and we are free of them! I think we deserve to do _whatever the hell we want!_"

His announcement was met with only quiet murmurs at first. I could see the crowd faltering, but then a young man approached my brother. He held out his arm with a smile.

"Whatever the hell we want," he said, and Bellamy clapped him on the shoulder. In the next moment, a blade was thrust between his skin and the bracelet. I swore that I could hear the _click_ that resounded across the distance.

Soon people began to line up in front of my brother. A celebration had suddenly broken out. Echos of '_whatever the hell we want_' filled the air, but to me it was an ominous sound.

Clarke had a disgusted look on her face as more and more people lined up to have their bracelets removed, but there was nothing else she could say. Instead, she made her way over to me.

"Lets get out of here," she said to me, holding out her arm. I reached for her when my brother's voice reached my ears again.

"Octavia," he called. I turned to face him. When I looked at him, he wore an expectant look on his face that made me want to scream.

I didn't know how I felt about removing the bracelets. A large part of me agreed with my brother. My life had been defined by series of strict laws, and if it weren't for the random chance that had been thrust upon me by getting sent to earth, I would have died because of them.

But on the other side of the same coin, was total anarchy the answer? No laws, no rules, no order? Was that the kind of world I wanted for myself?

No, it wasn't. For the first time in my life, I decided to take a stand against my brother. I turned my back to him, bracelet still attached to my wrist, and took Clarke's arm. She led me away from the craziness.

.

* * *

.

My second day on earth began by me waking up to sunlight filtering through the material of Clarke and I's tent. I woke up alone, and the space next to me where Clarke had slept was cold. She must have left sometime earlier. It was disorienting. I hadn't woken up without Clarke being next to me for a long time.

I stretched my body lazily as I soaked in the sensations around me. I could hear the people outside, and the birds singing their songs. I could smell the crispness in the air along with the morning dew on the grass. The smell of campfire was mixed in, too. All of these sensations were brand new, and I took a moment to bask in them before I started my day.

When I had finally decided to get up, I ran my fingers through my hair a few times before deciding to peak my head out of my tent. I almost expected Bellamy to be waiting outside to pounce.

In my mind, I replayed the instances in which I had acted against him yesterday. First it had been the fight in the forest, where I had all but accused him of being a monster. Second had been in the jumpship where I had basically thrown a temper tantrum because he had been concerned of my welfare before I proceeded to knee him in the crotch.

I winced at the memory.

And then lastly had been the ultimate stand, where I had walked away from him with my bracelet still on. I couldn't imagine him taking that well. I knew I had to see him and talk to him, but I dreaded it. It was a strange feeling considering I had wanted nothing more than to see him for so long.

With a sigh, I exited my tent and quickly zipped it shut behind me. I looked around, and saw a variety of people. Some were performing everyday chores, while others were relaxing in their tents with their flaps open. I saw no familiar faces, and felt a brief moment of panic. I had never been exposed to many people in my life so being thrust into a group of one hundred people was something that would take serious getting used to.

I looked around uncertainly for a moment before deciding to try the jump ship. I figured I would at least find Clarke there, if not Bellamy.

When I entered, I was proven incorrect. I saw neither Clarke nor Bellamy. Instead, about ten different sets of eyes that I didn't know looked at me as soon as I set foot onto the craft. I froze for a moment, surprised at the attention I was receiving. Some of the faces looked simply curious, some looked like they definitely didn't like me. There was one face that detected that was different than the others.

I didn't notice him until I had looked the room over several times. He was a shadow in a bright room, but I was able to feel gaze before I found his face. It was predatory, not quite hostile but observant. Sizing me up. Eating at my flesh with his eyes like a hungry animal.

My eyes met his finally, and I felt a chill down my spine. I did my best not to show my instant dislike of him. His face was ordinary compared to the faces I had been exposed to. He wasn't exactly ugly, but rather average looking. His eyes were slightly too close together and his nose was long and slightly crooked. I wondered idly if someone had once punched him in the face and broke it. If it weren't for the disconcerting feeling I got when my eyes met his, I wouldn't have given him a thought.

I noticed something else as I observed him. He made no attempt to avoid my eye contact, and the way he stood confidently with a slight smirk on his face was odd. It made me feel like...he was expecting me.

My mind flashed back to the night before. Bellamy had been standing in the glow of the firelight, with a group of men around him. I couldn't remember seeing this man's face, but I was willing to bet he would know where my brother was. Biting the inside of my cheek to hide my discomfort, I made my way over to him.

He watched me as I approached, and I watched his smile grow. I wondered if he was trying to make me feel more comfortable with the expression, but his smile didn't lessen the predatory look in his eyes one bit.

"Hey," I said, standing in front of him.

He laughed. It was a harsh sound. "Hey yourself, pretty lady," his voice was slimy. I held back a shudder of disgust.

"What's your name?" I asked, unable to hold back the slight curling of my upper lip.

"You can call me Murphy."

"Do you know where my brother is?" I asked, wanting to keep this conversation short.

He looked at me like I said something funny, and his creepy smile got wider. "And what makes you think I have the slightest idea who your brother even is, little girl?" he asked mockingly.

I almost snarled at the look he was giving me. His eyes told me exactly what he thought of me. I was a lost little girl, someone that not many knew, and I was easy prey. Bellamy's words from years and years ago rung in my ears like he was standing right next to me.

_You'd look at them with those innocent, big ol' baby blues and then they will __**eat you right up**_

My body revolted against me, and before my mind could catch up to it, I found myself lunging at him. He obviously wasn't expecting it, and I had him pushed him back against the wall he had been standing next to with my forearm at his throat in a matter of seconds. He wasn't that much taller than me, so I was able to apply a decent amount of pressure onto his airway.

"Lucky guess, _fucker_," I growled. My face was inches from his, and I could see my reflection in his wide, surprised eyes. My mouth was a snarl and my features were harder than I had ever seen them. My jaw was clenched in anger. "This is how its going go. You're going to tell me where my fucking brother is, and I won't tell Bellamy you were giving me a hard time," I offered, pressing my arm more firmly into his throat with each word. "Or I'm gonna do this until you pass out and then go find him anyway. What's it gonna be, _little boy_?" I said the last two words in the same, mocking tone he had used earlier. He clawed at my arm as his face began to turn a strange color that was in between red and purple. "Are you gonna play nice?" I asked. He nodded frantically.

With that, I stepped back from him, quickly putting a decent amount of distance between us. He grabbed his throat, and inhaled a painful breath.

I couldn't believe I had actually done that. I had never imagined myself capable of reacting so violently, but in that moment my blood had boiled in my veins. I knew he had been trying to intimidate me and make me feel weak, and it had unleashed a strength inside of me that I hadn't known existed. Adrenaline still flowed heavily in my system.

"Where is he?" I ground out between my teeth, after I had let him cough a few moments.

"Third floor," he coughed, pointing upwards. "Up there."

I let a smile grace my features. "There now," I mocked, "Was that so difficult?"

I turned around without waiting for him to reply, and it was then I had noticed that the other nine pairs of eyes were still watching me. They had watched the entire interaction. I blushed, embarrassed at the display I had made of myself.

I quickly made my way to the ladder that lead to the upper floors. I climbed it as quickly as I could, glad that the hatches between the floors were already open. I passed the second floor, and hesitated for a moment before I reached the third. I could hear my brother's voice filter down to where I was waiting, as well as other voices I didn't recognize. Steeling my resolve, I climbed until my head peaked through the hatch.

Silence immediately descended in the room as I continued to pull myself up and off of the ladder. Once my feet were securely under me, I let my eyes take in the as scene before me. Bellamy stood, talking to three men that lined in front of him like they were awaiting orders. I lifted my gaze to my brother's, and almost decided to turn around and climb back down. He did _not_ look pleased to see me.

"Leave us," he growled to the men in front of him. They hastened to obey his orders, and they all made their way to the opening without lifting their eyes to me. Once they had all descended the ladder, Bellamy walked over and closed the hatch. It locked with a insidious _click_.

My gaze lowered to the floor in response to the anger I could feel rolling off of him in waves. He didn't say anything at first. I wasn't too keen on being the one to break the silence.

Finally, after at least five minutes of heavy silence, he spoke. "Well?" he asked expectantly. "What brings you up here, Octavia?"

My words caught in my throat at his venomous tone. He had never spoken to me in such a way. I tried not to falter when I spoke.

"I'm sorry," I said simply, my eyes trained on the floor at his shoes. I watched as they took three steps towards me, and I felt Bellamy's fingers at my chin, before pulling my head up sharply to meet his eye.

"You're sorry?" he repeated in the same, venomous tone. "You're sorry? Sorry for what, Octavia? Are you sorry that you've been acting like a spoiled brat since the moment we landed? Or are you sorry that you embarrassed me in front of my subordinates? Or maybe you're sorry for kneeing me in my fucking crotch? That really fucking hurt, you know!"

I swallowed nervously, "I'm sorry for being difficult yesterday, and I shouldn't have hit you," I agreed. I hated the way his hard eyes looked at me. I missed the brother I had known on the Ark. "But I'm not sorry about what happened last night in regards to the bracelets. You shouldn't be telling people to take them off, Bellamy."

"Oh, I shouldn't be?" he asked, and his teeth were showing in a snarl. "What is it, Octavia? Do you want me to die? Is that it?"

I gasped at his words, "Of course not, Bellamy! How can you even ask me that?!"

"Because that's what'll happen if the people come down from the Ark. What part of _I shot the Chancellor_ did you not understand yesterday?" He asked, and I felt like his words slapped me. "If those people come down, Octavia, I'm dead."

The reality of his situation dawned on me at his words, and a horrible guilt ate at my stomach. Of course I didn't want Bellamy to die. The thought of him doing so was a tidal wave of pain.

"I'm sorry, Bell. I didn't realize..." I trailed off.

Maybe it was the honest regret in my voice, or perhaps he just grew tired of being mad at me, but his eyes softened. "I know you didn't, O. There's a lot of things you don't understand," he said quietly.

Sensing that his anger had dissolved to a level where he could at least pretend not to be pissed, I brought my arms around his shoulders and embraced him. I buried my head in his chest and inhaled his familiar scent. He smelled the same as he always had, now with just a faint hint of the forest around us and sweat added in.

"I missed you so much, Bell," I told him, my voice slightly muffled.

He was stiff for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to return my embrace. After a moment, he did. I felt his arms snake around my waist and he pulled me close to him.

"I missed you too, O. So much. Every day," he breathed, and I could hear the raw honesty in his voice. "When you had your birthday in there," he began, speaking of my most recent birthday that I had spent in Confinement, "I was so torn up. I wanted to visit you and I tried to get permission, but it didn't work out. I just didn't want you to be alone.." he trailed off.

I pulled away from him slightly, enough to observe his face. I had a feeling that my year of Confinement had been more difficult on him than I. I could see a hardness in his face that hadn't been there before, as well as lines of stress that were etched into his otherwise handsome features. There was a darkness to his eyes that I hadn't been too familiar with previously.

"I wasn't alone," I told Bellamy. "I missed you like crazy the whole time, but I wasn't alone. I had Clarke with me," I explained. I pulled out the folded piece of paper out of my back pocket that I carried with me always and held it out for Bellamy to take. "She gave me this for my birthday," I told him.

He unfolded the piece of paper carefully, and a surprised expression appeared on his face at the sight of his portrait. He looked up from the paper to my face.

"She drew this for you?" he asked.

I smiled at the memory. "Yeah, she did," I told him. "She knew that all I wanted for my birthday was you and-well, she did what she could."

He alternated between looking at the paper and studying my face closely. He handed the paper back to me, and I folded it again, careful not to get any creases on his face. I put it back into my pocket.

"You guys...seem close," he stated, and I felt myself stiffen slightly at his tone. It wasn't angry but questioning.

"Well, yeah," I said, trying to keep my tone light. I wasn't sure that I wanted to disclose the nature of Clarke and I's relationship, especially since I wasn't exactly sure what it was myself. "I mean, we were in Confinement together for a long time. She's my friend."

"Are you sure that is it?" he asked me, a skeptical note in his voice. I blushed at the knowing look he was giving me. "She seems rather...possessive and protective of you. When you went missing last night, she about lost her mind."

"Friends look after each other," I defended, but my excuse sounded lame to my own ears. A small, knowing smirk appeared on Bellamy's face and I held back a groan. I should know better than trying to avoid the truth with Bellamy. He knew me better than anyone ever could.

"Yeah?" he asked, and I could tell he was holding back laughter. "None of my friends have ever reacted that way for anything I've done. You guys must be _super special _friends."

I shoved him on the shoulder lightly, and I could feel my face growing redder. "We are," I agreed. "Not in the way you're thinking, but we are. Its not my fault you have the worst taste in friends ever," I chided. "Seriously, Bell? Those people you were hanging around last night were creepy."

"Yeah," he agreed, but he didn't look troubled. "They're not exactly the straightest arrows in the bunch, but I wouldn't need them if they were."

"Need them?" I repeated. "For what, Bellamy? So you can encourage total anarchy? "

He grinned, as if I had said something funny. My fingertips on my right hand itched to knock it off his face, but I resisted. Firstly because we had just reached a tentative peace between us and secondly because I was concerned at the sudden violent urges that had come over me since I set foot on earth.

"Anarchy isn't my goal, Octavia," he responded vaguely.

"Oh yeah? What happened to '_what's wrong with a little chaos_' and '_there are no laws_'?" I asked, using a deep, mocking voice when I quoted him. "Kinda sounds like the epitome of anarchy right there, Bell."

He laughed at my impersonation of him, and for a moment I saw a flash of my brother has he used to be. Burdened, but not overly so.

When he finally stopped laughing, he responded in a surprisingly serious tone. "You're right," he agreed. "Last night certainly made it seem like that was my goal. But it's not. I don't know if you would understand as you've never really encountered the game of politics."

Annoyance trickled in my veins. "Try me," I encouraged dryly.

"What we have here is a group of outsiders, Octavia," he explained. "We're a small group of people that have literally been pushed out of our society. A society where there were a stringent set of laws that if broken, were punishable by death."

He paused for a moment, and I stayed silent, wanting him to continue. He didn't disappoint.

"What better way to gain their loyalty than to give them a taste of what they've never had? The ability to make their own choices," he said, and I struggled to see where he was going with this. "When the time comes that I need them for something, they'll remember who gave them a taste of freedom. Clarke can make as many chore-lists and try to keep order as much as she pleases. They might even listen to her. She does possess great leadership capability, I'll give her that," he conceded. "But you saw what happened last night. When it comes down to it, reasoning and logic doesn't hold a candle to selfish wants and desires."

I felt troubled at his words. As I listened, I couldn't help but feel like there were either serious holes in his logic, or he wasn't telling me everything. Knowing Bellamy, I bet it was the latter.

"What have you been telling people as to how you got on the jumpship?" I asked. I knew somebody must have recognized him by now.

"The truth," he said, looking at me sharply. "That I snuck on board because I couldn't let my little sister go to Earth without me."

I looked at him, skeptically. "You haven't told anyone what you've done?" I asked, trying to keep my dark feelings about Bellamy's deed out of my voice.

"Those who need to know are informed. It hasn't reached the ears of his son or your little princess friend," he said, "And I'll trust you keep it that way." His tone brooked no room for an argument, and I could tell that any more questions from me on the subject would not be welcomed.

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After my reconciliation with Bellamy, he left me to go and do heaven only know's what. I climbed down the ladder only moments after him, and when I reached the bottom floor I looked around. It looked like it was being transformed into a medic bay, which I could only assume was Clarke's doing.

As I looked around, I still couldn't detect Clarke in the room. My eyes landed on Murphy, who was still standing in the spot I had left him earlier, looking at me with contempt. My eyes flashed to his neck and I could already see a faint shadow of a bruise appearing.

Only now, after the worry that my relationship with Bellamy would never be the same had been abated, did I realized that I had made a dangerous enemy of Murphy. Perhaps I shouldn't have reacted so violently to his slimy words. Surely there could have been a peaceful way to find out where my brother had been.

Oh well. What was done was done, and there wasn't anyway I could change it. In fact, I wasn't even sure I would want to. Maybe now he'd stay away from me. With that thought, I made my way out of the jumpship and into the fresh air.

I briefly entertained the idea of trying to find Clarke, but I decided against it. I knew that I should probably start building relationships with other members of the one hundred than my brother and Clarke, but that was for another day. Right now, I had other ideas. I was without any type of chaperone, and I felt like doing something mischievous.

I felt like exploring. Maybe I would bring my sketchbook and go draw some forest landscapes.

I wouldn't go too far, obviously. I wasn't stupid. If I wandered too much, I could easily get lost in the forest and that was just about the last thing I needed right now. No, I would go just far enough so that I could escape the sounds of camp and focus on the sweet melody of the forest.

I made my way back to my tent to retrieve my sketch pad and pens. As I walked there, I began to feel a sense of discomfort. The small hairs on the back of my neck stood up and overwhelming sense that I was being watched came over me. I observed my surroundings more closely and noticed I was drawing a few stares, but they were simply passing ones as I continued my journey to my tent. I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching my retreating form but saw no one.

For some reason, I found myself looking up at the trees. I remembered how I had hidden in one the night before, and Clarke had walked right under me, completely clueless. And why wouldn't she? There certainly had not been any trees where we came from. I wondered if someone else had decided taking to the trees was a good idea. I looked, but I saw nothing.

Once I reached my tent, I tried to push my odd sense of paranoia out of my mind. No one was watching me. I was just feeling overwhelmed because I was around so many people that I didn't know. I knew once I had gone far enough to reach seclusion, I would feel better.

With that thought in mind, there was a certain spring in my step as I made my way to the outskirts of the camp. We hadn't breached out very far yet, most preferring to stay close to the jump ship, so it didn't take long. I came across a trail, and stuck to it for a while.

Meanwhile, I looked around at my surroundings in wonder. The visual stimuli of earth was enchanting, but there was something else that caught my interest as well. It was more than the sunshine dancing through the leaves, or the vibrant green color of the moss that grew on the trees. It was the gentle _crunch_ of the earth beneath my feet, the way the breeze whispered and danced across my face and into my hair. It was the almost-silent thrum of the forest itself that steadily grew louder as I distanced myself from our rag-tag civilization.

I felt an overwhelming sense that the forest was alive, a complete sentient being in itself. It would explain the fact I still felt as if someone was watching me, at least. The forest was a living, breathing thing, and I felt a new respect for the place I now called home.

I came to a stop. Before me, only a short distance away from the trail, was a tree larger than any other tree I had seen in the forest. It was simply massive, in both circumference and height. I had to strain my neck to see the top. I approached it slowly, awed by its majestic beauty. Its roots dug deep into the earth, but branched out along the bottom a great distance. I hesitated before stepping on them.

I made my way to its trunk, and placed my palm against the rough surface of its bark. My eyes closed as I reverently imagined of all the things this tree had bore witness to. It had to have been here long before the Ark had even existed, and I suspected it would be here long after the Ark and everything else I knew faded away.

After a moment, I lowered myself to sit at the foot of the massive tree's roots. My back was against its sturdy frame, and as I looked up at its endless length I felt positively dwarfed in comparison. I pulled my sketchbook out and opened to a new page.

While I had been planning on doing a simple landscape drawing, the sight of this ancient tree had set alight a more mystical flame of my creativity. I drew the tree in which I sat upon, trying to transfer its absolute enormity onto the page. I drew what I imagined its roots looked like, reaching under the earth far past what my eyes could see.

A peacefulness settled upon me as I drew. My mind focused on trying to replicate the intricate pattern of it's bark, and the contour and shading of its roots. I still felt a sense of being watched on my skin, but I mostly ignored it.

A sudden flash of color crossed my peripheral vision. I raised my eyes from my sketch, and gasped at the sudden arrival of a new creature before me. I had read about them in books, so I knew what it was. A butterfly. It was a vibrant, electric blue color, and it flapped its delicate wings almost lazily.

I watched it, my body going completely still. It fluttered close to me, before doing the strangest thing; it landed on the top of my pen and rested there. I watched it in awe and did my best to keep myself absolutely still. I didn't want to move a single muscle and risk it flying off. It flapped its wings in place.

Another flash of color caught my eye, and my eyes sought it. It was another butterfly, and this one came to rest upon my hand. Completely frozen in shock, I watched as one by one, a dozen other butterflies came to rest upon me. Some on my arms and hands, others on the expanse of my crossed legs. One even landed on my nose, and I felt myself going cross-eyed as I attempted to look at it.

While this was happening, a slightly panicked thought entered my mind. What if these butterflies were dangerous? Venomous? I couldn't remember reading about any lethal butterflies in the books I had read, but there were admittedly holes in my education. The thought was enough to reinforce my desire to stay completely still, so as not to startle them.

They didn't seem aggressive at the moment, at least. They simply rested upon me, and every now and then they fluttered their wings gently. Before long, the first butterfly that had landed on my pen lifted up, and slowly fluttered away from me. Much like they had appeared, they took off one after another, slowly disappearing into the leaves of the trees.

I felt a smile cross my features. That experience had been simply magical, and I basked in the memory of how beautiful they had been.

Suddenly, there was a distinct rustling of leaves above me in the distance. I snapped my head up to look, and detected just a flash of color that didn't belong in the branches of a tree only ten feet away from me.

"Hello?" I called warily, craning my neck to attempt to locate the source of the sound. "Is somebody there?" Silence. There was no movement.

I looked around me a few more times, feeling uneasy. The forest suddenly seemed too quiet. Shaking my head as if to shake off my paranoia, I slowly lowered my eyes back to my work.

There was another sound. This time it sounded like a snapping of a branch. I was on my feet instantly, sending my sketchbook and pen crashing to the ground. Instinctively, I drew one of the daggers from my belt.

"Hello?" I called again, and this time my voice was stronger. I knew something or someone was out here with me. I was answered with silence. "Come out. I know you're there." Again, silence. "I can feel you watching me."

I stepped away from the security of the tree behind me, scanning in all directions. My heartbeat increased rapidly, and I could hear it in my ears. Adrenaline and fear flooded my system, and suddenly my senses seemed sharper.

I held my knife tightly in my hand, which rested at my side. I could feel myself trembling. When I had looked around the area for several minutes with no sign of movement, I slowly began to relax. I was being silly. There was no one out here with me. If anything, I must have heard some woodland creature. I was probably disturbing it more than it was disturbing me.

With that in mind, I decided that I had had enough of the forest today. I turned around to retrieve my sketchbook when I froze. A scream worked its way up my chest, but it lodged in my throat.

Standing before me, in the same place I had been sitting only moments prior, was a man. Though I was generally unfamiliar with the faces of the other members of the one hundred, I knew immediately that this man was not one of us. An outsider. A stranger.

The first thought that entered my mind after the shock of seeing him was how beautiful he was. His head was bare and smooth, with no hair growing there. His face, though arranged in a calm expression, had strong features. His eyes were a warm brown color, almost the same color of the earth beneath us. He had high cheekbones, and his nose was perfectly centered on his face. His lips were thin and arranged in a neutral expression, and for some reason I felt a tingle of warmth as my eyes scanned over them. His face was covered in some type of dark paint, drawn in a harsh pattern. The skin underneath it was darker than mine and had an almost red hue to it, burning in the light of day.

He wore strange clothes made of a mixture of fur and cloth. I could tell that they were crafted by hand. I briefly looked down at myself. My synthetic clothes made of recycled materials and manufactured upon the Ark were a sharp juxtaposition with his more natural garb. It was no wonder I hadn't seen him sooner. He blended in with his surroundings as only someone who had lived here all their life could.

He made no move to speak, nor did I. We locked gazes with each other, my blue eyes staring into his brown ones. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. We had been told that the earth had been uninhabited by humans for centuries, but apparently we had been wrong. Standing before me was proof of it.

The unknown man didn't attempt to come closer. In fact, he seemed to be doing the best he could to seem nonthreatening. His arms were both at his sides and in clear view, with his palms open flat, parallel to the ground. My heart kickstarted wildly in my chest as I continued to observe him. There was a curiosity in his gaze, as well as some other heated emotion. I was overcome by a feeling of déjà vu. The longer we stared each other down, the more I felt a tingle of familiarity when I looked at his face. It was like I knew him.

"Have you been the one watching me?" I asked, but it came out as a whisper. My throat was dry.

He seemed to hesitate, as if fighting some inner battle. I saw the fingertips of his left hand twitch infinitesimally. Slowly, he nodded. He didn't speak.

"Do I...Do I know you?" I felt compelled to ask, though I knew as I spoke that it was impossible. Of course I didn't know him. I had been born in the stars, hundreds of thousands of miles away from here.

At my words, his face erupted into a beautiful smile. I could tell it was genuine, and his teeth were straight and white. The sight of it caused my body to react in curious ways, setting my heart to beat at an even more accelerated rate and a warm, fluttering feeling begin to blossom in my stomach. Though I could tell this man was a predator, I strangely felt no fear.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then his eyes flittered over my shoulder and behind me. His smile disappeared, and my body felt bereft at the loss. I couldn't find it in myself to look away and see what he was staring at. In the next second, the full power of his gaze was back upon me. It was almost pleading and he raised one finger to his lips.

"_Octavia_!" came a familiar voice from behind me, further down the trail. I jumped in surprise, and whipped my head around in the direction of the sound. I could tell it was Clarke, coming to find me.

My eyes snapped back to the area where I had seen the man, but he was gone. My eyes widened at the realization, as he had been there only a half second before. I looked around the area to see where he could have gone, and even circled the tree on which we had stood. Nothing. It was like he had disappeared into thin air. The only evidence I had that he had been there at all was the mysterious disappearance of my sketchbook.

"_Octavia_," Clarke's voice called again, and it jarred me back to reality. I picked up my pen that I had dropped, placing it in my pocket before I headed back to the trail. I ran towards the sound of her voice a ways before I replied. I didn't want to share the location of the ancient tree just yet.

"Clarke!" I called. I could see her blonde hair in the distance. "I'm over here."

I continued to jog until I could easily see her face. A look of relief came over her at the sight of me.

"There you are!" she exclaimed. "I've been looking everywhere for you. You can't just go running off into the woods without telling someone where you're going!" her voice took on a chiding quality.

I was too shocked to feel properly annoyed at her scorn. Instead, I simply nodded. "I'm sorry," was all I said.

"Are you okay?" she asked me suddenly, her eyebrows pulling together in concern. "You look really pale," she reached for my forehead, touching me with the back of her hand. "You don't have a fever...have you eaten today?" she asked. Her words were slightly muted to my ears.

I shook my head, "No, but I'm not hungry," I said quietly. "I just think I need to lay down, I have this horrible headache."

It was true, at least. I suddenly didn't feel good at all. My mind was a whirlwind of several different thoughts. Most predominantly, my memory flashed back to the gesture the strange man had given me when he had detected Clarke's presence. He had raised his finger to his lips, a gesture that I understood was meant to instruct others to be quiet.

But I knew he had meant more than just that. The pleading look that he had given me was burned into the inside of my eyelids, and I knew that he had been asking me not to tell anyone that I had seen him.

It was a lot for a stranger to expect of me.

The fact that there were other humans on the earth was a monumental notion. It opened up so many deep rooted questions about our own society. Every single one of us had been drilled from birth about the desolate planet that had once been earth. How it had once been our home before humanity had disgraced her. Most had scoffed at the more mystical side of the teachings, sure, but we had all known the scientific aspect to be true.

Yes, we had known the truth in our logic and facts. That is, until the truth wasn't the truth anymore. Until we had the real truth shoved in our faces and our eyes opened to the fact that earth wasn't as desolate as they believed.

And apparently hadn't been desolate for quite some time. I remembered _his_ face. It wasn't the face of a boy reaching the potential of adulthood, as I had been so surrounded with as of late. It was the face of a man, fully grown into his potential. There had been an animalistic quality to his eyes, and I had been able to tell he had been keeping his face very neutral for my benefit.

It lead me to the question...why? Why did he show himself to me? I knew that it had been a very deliberate motion. If he hadn't wanted me to see him, I wouldn't have. How could he expect me not to tell anyone that I had seen him?

I felt burdened with the secret of this stranger. A large part of me wanted to tell Clarke what I had seen, but a faint whisper of instinct kept the words lodged in my throat. Perhaps it was because I had made it a habit of mine to collect secrets. My own, other people's, it didn't matter. But there was something else, too. A small inkling of intuition poked at me, and I knew that this man didn't mean myself or any one of the one hundred any particular harm. At least, not yet.

Then there was the fact that I couldn't get over the strong feeling that I had seen him before. His face, though new and foreign, had stirred something inside of me. Maybe it was his eyes and the way they had burned behind the neutral mask of his face. I had been able to see their intensity, though I didn't understand where it came from. When I had asked him if I knew him and he had smiled, it had been the most beautiful thing I had seen since stepping upon this earth.

I realized then that I didn't want to betray this stranger's secret. It was reckless, and stupid. Not to mention selfish. The others deserved to know that we were not alone. If Bellamy ever found out that I had known something like this and didn't tell him, I could only imagine the betrayal he would feel. But then again, it wasn't as if he didn't have secrets of his own that he didn't divulge with me. Why shouldn't I keep this to myself, if only long enough to work through my own feelings?

"Octavia?" Clarke's voice snapped me back into the present. We were back at camp, I realized. More precisely, standing in front of the flap of our tent. "Are you sure you're alright?" she asked. My eyes went to her face, and saw a mixture of anxiety and worry there. I tried to keep my own feelings of guilt off of my face. I was betraying her, too.

"I'm fine," I lied, zipped open the flap of our tent. "I think I just got too much sun," I offered lamely, "I'm just going to lay down. I'll see you later, okay?" My words were dismissive. I could tell that she had wanted to join me in the tent, but I needed time to compose myself. I watched her eyes widen with surprise, and saw the hurt my words had caused in them.

I looked away. I would make it up to her later. Somehow. Without another word, I stepped inside the security of the tent, sealing it behind me. I listened to the soft sounds of Clarke's breathing for a moment, before it have way to the quiet crunch of her footsteps.

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**I'm so anxious to hear what you guys are thinking about our two love birds finally meeting. Did you like it? Did you hate it? I'm dying to know! Please review, and the next chapter shall be posted within a few days.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:**

**Hello dear readers! It's been a while. I'm really sorry about the delay. I do all of my writing on my phone, and I used all of my data waaaaay before the month was over. 10 gigs. I was afraid to even touch my phone for the last two weeks. I'm not getting paid any money to write this story, so I hope you'll forgive me for not wanting to _pay_ to write it. Haha.**

**Anyways, thank you all so much for your reviews! I'm glad that most of you seemed to like the encounter between our two lovebirds, even if it was brief. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

**Akira91- Thanks for checking in on my progress! I am by no means abandoning this story. I'm glad that you're torn between Clarke and Lincoln, because I totally am, too! Haha. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**M.- You know, I really like Raven. I do plan on having her come down in this story, and I will definitely consider having RavenxClarke as a thing. Even if it would make Octavia super jealous and angry. Actually, that might be fun. Hmmm.**

**Before I start the chapter, I'd just like to say OMG THAT SEASON FINALE. I'M FREAKING OUT. Did Bellamy die? What about Raven? Did Lincoln take Octavia East? WHAT IS HAPPENING?! And as for the 'Mountain Men' and their modern technology...NO! That will NOT be appearing in this story. That part upset me greatly.**

**Anyways...**

**Standard Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to CW and Kass Morgan, respectively. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

.

It was hot. The air was thick with moisture, and being inside my tent felt akin to being steam cooked. The worst part was that the sun was already down. Night brought no relief to the sudden heat wave that had overcome us. After being on the temperature-controlled Ark for all of our lives, the heat was a huge shock to most of the 100's systems.

It made for a good excuse as to why I had stayed in my tent for three solid days after seeing _him_. I had been the first one affected by this supposed case of 'heat stroke' that swept the camp. In reality, I felt fine, other than the massive headache that had plagued me since that afternoon in the forest. It radiated from behind my eyes and fanned out across my face and into my neck.

It made me wonder how legitimate everyone else's claims were. I suspected that most were simply trying to avoid their daily chores which had become grueling to perform in the hot weather.

Clarke visited me often during the days I spent in isolation. I felt horrible about my deception. She thought I was really sick, when in all actuality I was keeping a huge secret from her and avoiding my problems. Most times, when I heard her soft footsteps approaching, I feigned sleep.

A huge reason I had stayed in my tent, other than the headache, was that I was nervous. Now that I knew _he_ was out there, it was like I was aware of his distinct aura at all times. It was a heaviness in the air, rolling with the intensity of his presence. I could feel his gaze pressing in upon me as I lay in my tent. When I needed to use the bathroom, I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head until I reached the outhouse that had been set up downwind of the camp. Whenever I looked, I didn't see him. Not that that surprised me. Occasionally throughout the day I felt like he would leave me for a few hours here and there, but it was never long before I felt like I could feel his presence again.

In the waking hours of my day, my mind flashed over the memory of his face. It was as if my mind had decided to store every detail of our interaction and play it in repeat. I could remember the exact shade of his warm brown eyes and recall in perfect clarity the way his skin had burned in the sunlight. I remembered the way the muscles in his face had relaxed and pulled back over his teeth in a smile, and the way my heart had beat wildly at the sight.

The feeling that I knew him grew only stronger the more I revisited our meeting in the forest. The idea was all consuming. I felt a nagging sense in my mind that there was something that I was missing, just out of reach. The more I thought about it, the worse my headache became.

When I slept, it was fitfully. It felt like I was unable to fully succumb to the darkness of rest, instead I hovered on the edge of awakeness. My body would still and my eyes would close, but I would still be faintly aware of the sounds of my surroundings. I would hear Clarke's quiet breathing, and I would feel when she tossed in her sleep. If someone passed outside of our tent, I would jump awake.

On the fourth morning of my self imposed Confinement, Bellamy burst into my tent with no warning. I had been laying on my stomach, my eyes shielded to the invading light of the sun by hiding my face in the crook of my elbow. I jumped when he walked in, quickly pulling myself into a sitting position. The quick motion made my head throb painfully, and I groaned.

"What do you want, Bellamy?" I all but growled at him.

"Good morning to you too, little sister," Bellamy said. His cheerful tone made me want to punch him in the head.

I sank back into my bed pallet, pulling my blanket over my head. "What do you want?" I asked again. It came out as more of a groan than anything.

In the next second, my covers were ripped off of me. I glared at Bellamy in annoyance. He returned my gaze balefully.

"Get up," he said. "Enough is enough. You need to get out of this tent."

I rolled my eyes at him. "No," I ground out. "I have a headache."

"I don't care. Sitting around in this tent all day isn't going to help you. Its not healthy," he said, as stubborn as ever.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Bellamy," I started, my voice without humor. "You do remember me spending the first fifteen years of my life living under the floor, right? That wasn't just a figment of my imagination?" I asked, sarcasm lacing my tone.

"Octavia," he said, and his tone was a warning. "You can either come out of your own free will, or I'll drag you out of here kicking and screaming. Either way, you're going outside," he told me, and a rush of anger filled me. I _hated_ the way he could just order me around, even if I knew that in this particular instance, it was for my own good. He was right. I had sulked for too long.

"Fine," I grumbled.

He smiled. "Good," he said, the cheerfulness was back in his tone. "We found these hot springs, not too far from here. You should go take a bath. No offense, but you smell," he said. I threw my jacket at his face, which I had been using as a makeshift pillow. To my extreme annoyance, he saw it coming and easily ducked out of the way, laughing. "Clarke's in the jumpship. I'm sure you could convince her to go with you," he finished, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Instantly, heat rushed to my face. "Go away, Bellamy," I grumbled. "I need to get dressed. Get out!"

"Alright, alright!" he said, holding up his hands. "I'm leaving! But if you're still in this tent when I come back, so help me-"

"Get out!" I snapped. He was laughing as he ducked out of my tent. Once he was gone, I lifted my arm hesitantly and sniffed. I cringed. I smelled like stale sweat and campfire.

Gross.

With a suffering sigh, I heaved myself onto my feet. My legs felt somewhat unstable beneath me, but I pulled on my pants and ran a few fingers through my hair before stepping out into the fresh air. The camp was still quiet, as it was very early in the morning. Most people still slept.

I made my way to the jumpship. Though I hated to admit it, it did feel refreshing to breathe in fresh air and feel the breeze on my face. Once I reached my destination and stepped inside, Clarke's eyes found mine almost immediately.

"Octavia! You're up," she exclaimed, happily. She crossed the room to stand before me. She looked at my face closely, as if trying to detect any trace of my supposed sickness there.

My stomach twisted uncomfortably, but I smiled despite it. "Yeah, yeah, I'm up," I said, shrugging off her concerns. "I feel as good as new. Well, almost. I heard a rumor there's some kind of hot spring around here?" I asked.

"Yeah, we found them the other day. We had to run some tests to see if there was any radiation, but it came back clean. Its safe to use," she explained. "We even have soap, now. Lucky us, one of the kids here used to make the soap on the Ark before he was Condemned. We don't have any way to keep it cool though, so we'll have to use it quickly and make it often." She seemed to be unhappy with this, but there was nothing she could do about it

"Wanna show me the way?" I asked.

She smiled at me, and a familiar twinkle in her eye caused me to blush. "Yeah, sure," she agreed. "Just let me finish a few things first."

Once she had given directions to the people she had been working with, she returned to my side. In her hand was a green block of soap, as well as a small bowl. Without another word, she took my hand in her free one and led me back into the fresh air.

We began walking in the same direction that we had the first day, when we had come upon the river. There was a silence between us, only interrupted by the soft sounds of Clarke's humming. I wondered if everyone was in a good mood except me.

The forest soon enveloped us, and the sounds of camp fell away to the quiet sounds of the trees. As we walked, I realized I felt better than I had in days. My headache, though still present, had lessened greatly in intensity. Despite the fact that I still felt like _he_ was watching, it was good to be up and walking around again.

We came to the river, but instead of walking into it as Jasper had so foolishly done, we walked along the edge of it for a while. Soon, the sandy beach turned into a type of rocky gravel.

"So we found these the day before yesterday," Clarke informed me. "My best guess is that we're located above an aquifer. These hot springs are likely a natural occurrence due to it," she explained, as we approached a rock formation. At first it didn't seem like anything, but as I drew closer I saw that the surface between the circular formations of rock was filled with clear water. Steam rose from the surface of the liquid. I felt a forbidding sense creep into my mind.

"You said this was naturally occurring?" I asked. "It seems like these rocks are strewn about a little too perfect for it to be natural..."

"Well it was this way when we found it. Since we're the only humans on earth, I figured it was a safe to assume that it was natural," she said, shrugging. Guilt washed over me in another wave. Oh, how wrong she was.

"Well? Are you gonna stand there looking at it, or are you going to get in and wash off that stink of yours?" Clarke asked me, with a grin.

I blushed, looking at her strangely. "Are you just going to stand there, watching me?" I asked after several moments when she made no attempt to leave.

"That's the plan," she informed me. I looked at her, open mouthed. "What?" she asked, almost defensively, with a grin. "I'm not just gonna walk away while you're all naked and defenseless. I'm just standing guard."

I stood for a moment, unsure of what to do. "Alright.." I agreed, but I still wasn't happy about it. Clarke seemed amused at my discomfort.

"Honestly, Octavia," she said teasingly. "I've seen you naked before. I don't why you're so weird about it all of a sudden."

"Well yeah, but that was before..." I trailed off, unsure what to call it.

"Before you found out I was all girl-hot for you?" she supplied, and I nodded with another blush. She rolled her eyes, but still had a slight smile on her face. "Fine, I'll turn around," she conceded. I watched as she turned her back to me.

My eyes flashed over to scan the treeline. As soon as we had reached the hot spring, the strange pull I felt when _he_ was near had disappeared. Still, it could all be in my imagination. "No peeking," I said, slightly louder than necessary. I wasn't sure if I was talking to Clarke or _him_.

"No promises," I heard Clarke grumble under her breath.

I chose to ignore it. My fingers unclasped the buckle of my pants, sliding them down the expanse of my legs and I shakily stepped out of them. I once more looked into the trees, trying to see if _he_ was watching. It would make sense if he was. He was a wild, untamed thing of the forest. Animalistic. Predator. It made sense to think that I was the prey he sought. Afterall, I had felt his gaze upon me for the last three days almost constantly.

But since when did things that made sense happen in my life? Never. Beyond all sense and logic, I didn't feel like any harm would come to me by him. I also didn't think he'd watch me undress from the security of his trees after I had kept him a secret. Perhaps it was wishful thinking that made taking off my clothes easier.

It was strange, being naked in the open. It was liberating. I made my way to the edge of the water, dipping one foot in to test the temperature. It was definitely warmer than the air around us. I estimated that it was about waist deep.

"Don't just jump in. Its not good for your body, and you're just getting over being sick. Take the bowl and scoop some of the water out and pour it over you before you get in," Clarke advised.

"Stop looking!"

She laughed. What was up with people laughing at me today? Grumbling about stupid brothers and annoying friends, I did as she instructed. I sat down on the edge, letting my legs submerge into the water and scooped water into the bowl, pouring it down my neck and chest. I did this a few times, before pushing myself off the rock and into the pool.

"Don't dunk your head under," Clarke warned.

"Would you stop it?! I said no peeking!"

"I'm not! I can still hear you, idiot," Clarke called, and I looked her suspiciously over my shoulder.

Satisfied that her back was still facing me, I let myself enjoy the relaxing feeling of the water. I had never been submerged in it before; my bathing had consisted of five minute showers that I had to hope and pray were long enough to get the soap out of my hair. It was amazing.

Remembering Clarke's warning, I arched my back in order to wet my hair. Once I felt like I had properly soaked myself, I took the lumpy bar of soap and scrubbed. By the time I was done, my skin was pink and clean, and the faint smell of mint clung to it.

I let myself soak for a few moments longer than necessary, before pulling myself out of the spring. Water cascaded down my frame as I removed myself from it, and the air around me felt chilly after being immersed in the warm liquid. I shivered as I stood, feeling only slightly warmed by the sunlight dancing on my skin.

I stood still for a moment, soaking in the sun, wanting my skin to air dry before I put my clothes back on. I felt refreshed, and new. The headache that had plagued me for days was now only a slight ache behind my eyes. After a short time, I dressed.

My eyes went to Clarke. Her back was to me, arms crossed, and I wondered what her expression was. Ever since that fateful night on the Ark when I had learned of Clarke's deeper feelings for me, I wondered if there was a expiration date to our friendship. How could she continue to be friends with me when she wanted to be more than that? The closeness of our relationship was sometimes overwhelming, especially since we arrived on Earth. There were these undertones of jealousy and possessiveness that had come to fruition on both sides, and it left us floating in a grey area.

On my part, I knew that I hated the way some of the male eyes would follow her when she was in camp. Finn Collins, in particular. He watched her like a predator, observing her movements with a seductive threat. Only Clarke was a predator as well, if only a more subtle one. His gaze didn't perturb Clarke.

She mostly paid him no mind when she was around me, but I had seen their eyes meet a few times. I had seen the small flash of their mutual attraction. Curiosity. And it _burned_ me, slow in my veins.

I knew that I had no right to feel that way. I knew that _I_ was the one that had set the boundaries of our relationship. It was _I_ that rebutted her advances and admissions of affection with lame attempts of humor and pretend ignorance. I was the one betraying her, not the other way around.

I slowly made my way to Clarke, doing my best to remain silent and not alert her to my presence. Once I was about a foot away from her, I sprung. I threw my arms around her shoulders, hugging her from behind.

She let a cry of surprise escape her when I came into contact with her back, and she stumbled a few time before adjusting to my weight. I was surprised she didn't fall over.

"Well hello to you too, Octavia," she laughed, her hands covering mine, which were wrapped together above her collarbone.

"Hey," I breathed, squeezing her shoulders.

"What's this all about?" she asked.

"I've missed you," I told her, honestly. I let her go, and she turned around to face me. A bright smile graced her features.

"I've missed you, too," she said, taking my hand and leading me back into camp.

.

* * *

.

Clarke and I were in the jumpship the majority of the day. By the time the sun had rose to its highest point in the sky, it was sweltering inside the metal ship. My skin was covered in a distinct layer of moisture, and my hair stuck to my neck in the most uncomfortable of ways.

I spent most of my time by Clarke's side, though I rarely contributed to the conversation. It seemed that both her and my brother were trying to come up with a functioning plan on how to build a wall around our camp, and planned on conferencing together later. It was strange, knowing that the two people I held near my heart were the two de facto leaders of our group. It earned me a lot of strange stares.

Once the sun started to set, the noises from camp started to get steadily louder and more rambunctious. Clarke and I looked at each other with curious expressions and were about to go check it out when Monty burst through the door of the drop ship.

"Clarke! Look what me and Jasper made!" he said excitedly, pushing a cup full of clear liquid towards her face.

Clarke's eyebrows rose, and a small smirk appeared on her face. "Is that what I think it is, Green?"

"Sure is! Best moonshine I've ever made," he declared proudly.

"Moonshine? " I repeated, confused at the term I had never heard before. "What's that and how did you make it?"

"Well you see, Jasper and I have been working on building a distillery, and we finally figured out how to-"

"Why don't you try it, Octavia?" Clarke said, interrupting Monty's speech. She held the wooden cup out for me to take. A mischievous look graced her features.

"What does it taste like?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Go ahead and find out," she challenged.

I took the cup from her with trepidation, and sniffed the rim hesitantly. It didn't smell bad, in fact it didn't smell like anything at all. I raised the cup to my lips, and tilted my head back.

The liquid burned my chapped lips and ignited into a fire as soon as it passed them. I managed to swallow a little bit, before I started to cough and sputter. My throat and nose burned painfully.

Clarke and Monty thought my reaction was hilarious. Both of them were laughing themselves sick as I wiped my mouth to get rid of the excess liquid on my lips. "Ugh," I coughed, looking at Clarke balefully. "What the hell is that?! Its disgusting!"

"_That_, my dear, is moonshine. Its a _really_ strong alcohol, " Clarke explained after she had managed to stop laughing. She took my near-full cup and raised it to her own lips. She managed to swallow a decent amount, only shuddering slightly when she was done.

Clarke turned to Monty. "That's pretty good," she complimented, "but we should use some of it for a more practical use than to get drunk. It would be great to sterilize my equipment with. How much can you make in a day?" she asked.

"The fermentation is the longest part," Monty explained. "I started it the day we got here, but I was able to distill this just today," he continued, but I checked out of their conversation. My throat burned from the wretched liquid, and I did my best not to cough. Clarke was able to handle it just fine, and for some reason I felt like I should be able to as well.

"What do you say, Octavia?" Clarke asked, jarring me out of my thoughts.

"What was that?" I asked.

Clarke rolled her eyes at my obvious inattentiveness. "I _said_ 'do you feel like getting a little drunk tonight?'" she repeated. "It'll help flush out all those leftover germs of yours," she added, which didn't sound correct to me. Even if it was, I had never been sick to begin with, so her argument didn't do too much to sway me.

"That stuff is nasty," I grumbled. Drinking more of it did not sound like a fun time. "No way am I going to drink it."

"Oh, come on," Clarke whined. I watched her face shift into full on pout-mode. Her lower lip stuck out just a little bit further than her top one, and her blue eyes widened perceptively. "You'll only need a little bit of it to feel it. I'm not trying to get you shitfaced."

"I don't know..."

"_Pleeease_?" she begged. Her lower lip extended further.

I sighed in defeat, "Fine," I grumbled, "Seriously though, I only want like half a cup. I don't know why you want to drink this stuff."

"Half a cup will be more than enough," Monty said. He was grinning in a way that made me nervous.

"Whoo-hoo!" Clarke said, doing a little dance. "Lets go sit by the fire," she suggested, taking my hand. I followed behind her, grumbling about blue eyes and sneaky best friends.

We approached one of the larger fire pits that had been set up in camp, and I felt a small trickle of anxiety. It looked like Monty had spread the good news to a majority of camp before coming to Clarke and I, and a decent amount of the 100 were drinking out of their wooden cups and having a great ol' time. Some of the older girls were dancing with boys, grinding their bodies against their male counterparts in a way that made heat rise to my cheeks. Some were kissing and groping with no concern as to who was watching them. All in all, a lot more indecent than I was used to.

Clarke seemed to notice my hesitation, and grinned. "No chickening out," she teased lightly. She handed me a drink. As I had demanded, it was only half full.

"Now don't go spitting it all out this time," Monty said, in a mock-serious tone.

"Cheers," Clarke said, raising her own drink. Monty tapped his against hers, and Clarke looked at me expectantly. "When a person says cheers, you're supposed to tap your drinks with theirs and then take a drink," she explained after a few moments.

"Oh," I said dumbly, bringing my cup to knock against hers lightly. "Cheers then," I said, reluctant. I watched as both of them took a swig, and then followed their lead. It was just as disgusting as the first time, but I knew what to expect so I managed to swallow it down. I felt the burn all the way down to my stomach. I made a face.

I managed to finish my drink quickly, wanting to get it over with. Clarke and Monty drank slower, but when their cups were empty, they refilled them, unlike me. It wasn't long before I started to feel the effects from the small amount that I _had_ drank. I felt flushed, and my pulse increased. I could hear my heart beating in my chest, and my skin tingled pleasantly.

"You know, I know you love your brother and all, Octavia. He was like this super brother and protected you from harm and shit but _ugh_. He's such an asshole," Clarke said suddenly, after finishing her first drink. Her voice had a slight slurred quality that had never been there before, and I could tell that she was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol as well. "Seriously, do you know what he said to me the other day?" she asked. I shook my head. "That if I didn't take my communication bracelet off willingly, he'd cut it off my 'pretty little wrist'. Can you _believe_ that?"

I was kind of surprised, but honestly not very. Bellamy had changed since my Confinement. He was still my brother, but he was burdened by so many layers of guilt, anger, and the same self-imposed obligation he always had in regards to me. "What did you say?" I asked.

She grinned sheepishly. "Well," she began, "I _might_ have used you to make a point."

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I told him that if he tried, you'd be pissed at him. I mean, we are friends," she explained. "I told him that even his sister thinks taking them off is a bad idea. And then I told him I'd kick his ass if he ever threatened me again."

My stomach clenched as guilt settled in there. After my conversation with Bellamy a few days ago, I knew I would have to take my bracelet off eventually. I just didn't know how to break the news to Clarke.

"I don't know what's going on with him," I told her. "He's so different than he was before my Confinement. I've never seen this side of Bellamy before, and I'm sorry he's an ass to you. I'll talk to him, and he'll warm up to you. He's still the brother I knew, deep down," I told her.

"Yeah, _way_ deep down," Clarke grumbled, but then shrugged. "Its whatever. Don't worry, I'm not going to try to make you chose between us or something stupid like that," she told me.

I didn't know how to respond to that. Obviously, if I had to chose between Clarke and my brother, it would be my brother every time. I didn't necessarily want to tell her that. Instead, I asked something that surprised myself.

"Can I have some more?"

.

* * *

.

Several hours later, I was feeling positively tipsy. I had drank a lot less than most, but my tolerance level was much lower. My ears buzzed against all the other noises from camp, and my lips tingled. My thoughts came a lot slower than normal, and I felt relaxed from all my previous worries.

It didn't do much in the sense of overcoming my anxiety of new people. While both Clarke and Monty had begun to socialize with other members of the 100, they were still the only two I talked with.

Finn Collins had joined the decent sized group around me, and I saw him eyeing Clarke from across the fire. Clarke, whose inhibitions were greatly lowered, stared back at him boldly. A pool of jealousy formed in my gut, and I looked away from them, willing my thoughts to go in a different direction.

My eyes were drawn to the treeline, and a trickle of intuition overcame my buzzed state. I scanned the trees, seeing nothing, but I knew _he_ was out there. Watching us. Watching me.

Suddenly, a surge of anger came over me. Here I was, in a constant state of paranoia, lying to my brother and Clarke, constantly on edge, barely able to sleep, and it was because of _him_. All because he had decided to show himself to me, of all people, and then dared to ask for my secrecy. I didn't even know him, despite the weird sensation that told me otherwise. Not to mention, he _stole_ from me. My sketchbook was my prized possession and he took it before disappearing into thin air. Who does that?

I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the fact I had reached my breaking point after three days, but I made my mind up. I was going to go find him and figure out what he wanted from me, and demand my book back in the process.

I stood from where I sat, determination filling me. My eyes flashed over to Clarke, only to find her across the fire, sitting next to the Spacewalker. They seemed to be in deep conversation, and she took no notice of my departure. For a moment, that bothered me, but as I continued to walk away from them and away from the noise of camp, I figured that it was just as well. I didn't know how long this would take, and I didn't want Clarke to come looking for me like last time.

As soon as I stepped a foot into the treeline, the awareness of his presence increased tenfold. I knew he was near, but I kept walking deeper into the forest. I wanted to be as far away from camp as possible. I was thankful for the light that the full moon casted down upon the forest because even if it was a little spooky, I would be blind without it.

The forest at night was much different than the forest during the day. When the sun was out, even the silence of the forest was filled with the soft sounds of life. At night, it seemed to be absolute silence and even the snap of a twig under my feet echoed loudly through the distance. I finally came to a small clearing, and I stopped, turning around to look back the way I came.

"I know you're out there," I called, in a hushed tone. "Stop with the games and show yourself."

Silence. Despite my words, the mystery man did not reveal himself to me. I waited a few moments and then let out an angry sigh, running my hands through my hair.

"You stole something from me. Something very important. I want it back," I said, louder this time. Again, I was greeted with silence. I was starting to get seriously pissed off at this point, which spurred on my next words.

"Listen, fucker," I seethed, "I've kept the fact that you exist a secret for four days, I've lied to my brother and best friend, I can't eat, I can't sleep, and its all because of you! You showed yourself to _me_, remember? Why did you do that? Why me? What do you want?" I asked the air, and then kicked the trunk of a nearby tree in anger. I hissed at the pain, "Fuck!" I exclaimed, before forcing out one last question, "And why do I feel like I've seen you before?! Answer me!"

Silence. I threw my hands in the air out of frustration. This was pointless. He wasn't going to show himself again, and this whole endeavor had been a waste of time. I began to walk back to camp, hobbling due to the pain in my big toe. I planned to march right to Bellamy's tent and tell him everything I had been keeping from him. This was too much, and I had no reason to lie for this mystery native.

As I passed under a particularly large tree, I felt a movement in the air behind me, and a dull _thud_ of feet connecting to the ground. I froze for a moment, before spinning on my heels to turn around.

I came face to face with the same man as I had days ago. He was just as beautiful as I remembered, and for a moment words escaped me. My eyes scanned over him, and I noticed that his skin was covered in the same dark paint it had been previously, only there was a lot more of it. Because there was a lot more skin showing. He still clothes made of soft animal furs, but he was bare from the waist up. Heat rose to my cheeks as I observed the strong looking and well defined muscles of his stomach and chest.

He made a small noise, almost as if clearing his throat, and my eyes snapped up to meet his. He looked like he was fighting the urge to smile.

"Who are you?" I asked, but he didn't respond. I tried again, "Why did you show yourself to me? I'm not our leader."

"You are different than the rest. You have been Marked by Földanya," his unfamiliar voice rung out. It was deep, in a way that only a fully grown man would have, and there was a strong accent. It did strange things to my body, and I shivered in the darkness. His words made some sense, I supposed; afterall, I was different from my peers. The outsider of outsiders being watched by the biggest outsider of them all.

But what about this...fuu-din-yah? It was a strange word I had never heard before, and I had a feeling that it was a from a different language.

"What does that mean? Marked by what?" I asked quietly, wishing I hadn't drank earlier. I was starting to get this weird feeling in my stomach, and the forest was beginning to spin. I reached my arm out to touch the trunk of a nearby tree, using it to steady myself.

He didn't answer for a moment, looking at me with a knowing look in his eye. "You have been drinking of..uh.._alkal_?" he questioned, instead of answering my question. Even though my mind was a little befuddled at the moment, I was now positive that English was not his first language.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion, tilting my head as I tried to understand his words through his accent. "Alkal?" I repeated. "Alkal..alkal..oh! You mean alcohol? The moonshine!" I realized, feeling incredibly dimwitted. He didn't say anything, but I thought I saw him nod almost imperceptibly.

"Well yeah, I had some. Not a lot, because I've never drank alcohol befo-wait!" I stopped my speech, feeling annoyed at myself. I was not here to answer _his_ questions! "You tell me why you've been watching me, right now!" I demanded. He only looked at me. "I mean, watching us. Or me. Or both. Whatever!" I rambled on, after a few moments had passed with him not responding.

His face was masked by the paint, and the silvery light of the moon didn't make things easy, but I felt like I could see his reluctance to answer my question in the way that his jaw was set. A rush of anger filled me.

"Are you gonna talk? Or are you just going to stand there and stare at me? I asked you a fucking question!" I demanded with a slightly raised voice, resisting the urge to punch him in his beautiful face. What was this guy's deal? He was making my head hurt.

He took a step back from me at my outburst. I felt a small bit of satisfaction at that.

"I mean no harm to you," he said quietly, and I noticed that his hands were once again opened to be parallel to the ground. "Földanya...is not easy to explain, in your tongue," he explained, and I heard the truthfulness in his voice.

"Okay," I said, my eyes narrowed, "then explain to me what you want from us instead." He set his jaw, and I could see the reluctance return to his face. Inwardly, I seethed. "I swear, if you don't start talking..." I trailed off, my fist tightening at my side.

"We saw you," he said, slowly. "You came from the sky."

"We?" I repeated weakly. "There are more of you?"

He nodded.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" I asked, a cold feeling traveling down my spine. My thoughts traveled to the history books I had once devoured in my room, and my mind portrayed violent images of warfare. Blood and death. What if that was what his people planned?

"I come to see, learn," he told me, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I was skeptical.

"If you just want to learn, why are you hiding? Why don't you make yourself known?" I asked, my suspicion leaking into my voice.

The man's eyebrows furrowed together, and I got the impression that he took offense to my tone. He didn't say anything for a moment, but he locked gazes with me. I was surprised at how bottomless his eyes looked in the moonlight, enraptured by the wildness in them.

"Your people are dangerous. They killed a _Kulag_, a sacred creature, and ate it's flesh," he said, and I watched him shudder at the memory.

My mind went back, and I recalled the large, feline animal that Bellamy and his crew had brought back from the forest the first night we arrived on Earth. They had killed it while looking for me, I remembered. I hadn't gotten a good look at it, for Clarke and I had retreated to our tent early to avoid taking our bracelets off.

"We didn't know it was special," I explained, feeling the need to defend my brother's actions. "We were just hungry."

"Such actions offend Földanya," he said seriously, an undertone of warning in his voice. "She makes the Earth plentiful for her Children, but to kill her sacred creatures will bring her wrath upon your people."

He said this in all seriousness, but I couldn't help but look at him strangely. He spoke as if this Földanya was some sort of...mystical being. I remember reading of religions that had existed on Earth before it had been destroyed. I wondered if this was what he was speaking of.

"If we're so bad, why do you still watch us? What are you looking for?" I asked, choosing to disregard his more fantastical words.

He looked at me like I was slow. "I told you. You are different. Földanya has Marked you as her own."

"What does that mean? How did this...Földanya or whatever, mark me?" I asked, irritation coloring my tone. I was growing wary of his cryptic way of speaking, and my stomach was lurching uncomfortably. I felt like I was going to be sick. I leaned against the tree, feeling more unsteady by the minute.

He stepped forward, as if concerned, but stopped short when I glared at him. "The day I appeared to you in the forest," he began, "you were blessed by the _Dhillarearë. _They came to you. That is why I showed myself."

"The _Dhillarearë_?" I repeated, confused. My mind flashed back to the day he had appeared to me, trying to remember what had happened before he showed up. "Do you...do you mean the butterflies?" I asked, uncertainly.

He nodded.

"What does that mean?" I asked, and as I spoke, I felt my mouth began to water. Before he could answer, I felt the contents of my stomach begin their ascent up my esophagus. I turned away from him, panicked, trying to put as much distance between myself and him before the inevitable happened.

I crouched at the foot of a tree as the moonshine made its second appearance. It burned more coming up than it had going down, if that was possible. I choked and gagged against the awful taste, and a horrible embarrassment came over me as I emptied my stomach. I could still feel his eyes on my crouching form.

Finally, my stomach settled somewhat, and the wretching stopped. I felt very weak, and I leaned against the tree wearily, doing my best to stay out of the mess I had made. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Fire-Water does not sit well with you," came the man's voice from behind me. He didn't sound condescending, but rather concerned and worried. "Can you walk?" he asked.

Good question. My legs felt horribly shaky, and the forest was spinning around me at an alarming rate. I shook my head, "No, I think I'll just stay here awhile," I said, surprised to hear that my words were beginning to slur. "These tree roots are surprisingly comfortable." I closed my eyes.

I heard him make a quiet sound that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle. The next thing I knew, strong hands were grasping at my frame, and the world disappeared from under me. My eyes snapped open to see him lifting me from the ground and holding me in his arms as if I weighed less than nothing.

"Ahh! Put me down!" I demanded, before snapping my mouth closed quickly. The sudden motion had caused my stomach to lurch uncomfortably again, and the last thing I wanted was to throw up on this guy. "I can walk!"

"Peace, child," he demanded when I started to flail in his arms. "I am taking you to the border of your camp. You can walk from there," he said, and the sudden gentleness in his voice put a stop to my struggles. I allowed myself to relax slightly, despite the indignity of the situation, and a silence came over me. Despite myself, I couldn't help but admire the strength of his arms and the solid hardness of his chest. His skin was warm against mine, which was clammy and cool after I had finished getting sick. Before long, I felt my eyes starting to droop. I hadn't slept properly in days, and it was catching up with me now.

"What is your name?" I asked, struggling to stay alert.

There was a brief moment of silence, and then, "Lincoln," came his reply.

I snorted. "Like the president? Really? You have this awesome language full of weird names and your name is _Lincoln_?"

"It is one of many," he informed me. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Oh. Well, my name is Octavia. That's my only one," I told him.

My eyes finally closed, too heavy for me to force open. I felt his laughter at my statement in his chest, which rumbled against my skin. I felt goosebumps on my arms.

"I know who you are, Octavia," he said, his voice echoing in my ears very clearly despite my failing awareness. Darkness was closing in in my mind. "I've known you for a long time..."

.

* * *

**I've borrowed some of the words from Lincoln's language from _Annaren_, a language developed by Alison Croggon and used in the 'Pellinor' series. Forgive me. '_Földanya_' is Hungarian. At least that's what Google Translate tells me.**

** Hope you enjoyed, and please review!**


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